


Don't Keep Your Love Around

by princesslexi763



Series: Septiplier Prompts [1]
Category: Youtuber RPF, jacksepticeye, markiplier - Fandom
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Breaking Up & Making Up, M/M, Mpreg, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Break Up, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-31
Updated: 2016-06-16
Packaged: 2018-07-11 07:00:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 36,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7034758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princesslexi763/pseuds/princesslexi763
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sean "Jack" McLoughin and Mark Fishbach were your picture perfect high school sweethearts until Mark goes off to college and everything falls apart. Six years later, Jack is working at a local Book Store and Mark is married with a child. But neither one knows either until they happen to meet at a park. Upon having a 'reunion' with Mark, Jack discovers he is pregnant...with a married man's child and well, it can only go downhill from there.<br/>OR-<br/>Based on the prompt that was sent to me on Tumblr: We were once high school sweethearts but we have sense broken up and are now reuniting six years later and now after a night of reuniting, I’m pregnant with your child.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys :) So this was supposed to be a really long one shot but i have sense decided to just post it in chapters because it almost completely done. I'll be posting a new chapter every day until the work has been completely posted. I actually have a list of twenty six (Weird number, i know haha) prompts that I am going to attempt to write and this is the first part of this series. I hope you enjoy the story line and I hope everything flows perfectly together. Happy reading :)
> 
> Song title is based off from the song DKLA by Troye Sivan :)

If there was one thing that I was ever certain about in my life, it was that I was undoubtedly in love with Mark Edward Fishbach. I loved his voice, his personality, his appearance—he was pretty much the whole nine yards.

            We began dating when we were fifteen. We were childhood friends and after a night of just talking with each other about our futures, we realized pretty quickly that both of us wanted to be more than friends. My own parents believed it was only a phase of exploration and when they realized it wasn’t, I was kicked out of my house at the age of sixteen—when they could, quite pathetically, do so.

            So I lived with Mark and honestly, his parents never knew about our relationship even though we were pretty regularly fucking under the covers in his room. But nevertheless, they gave me a home and Mark gave me a safe haven and it was all I could have asked for at that time.

            I moved back in with my parents my senior year when they forgave me and accepted the way I was—gay. But it wasn’t like I was treated okay, I was treated pretty miserably actually. But they were my parents and I didn’t want to hate them, I always said I loved them, but deep down, they left scars that will never be healed.

            As a graduation gift from Mark, he gave me a promise ring and I treasured it with my life. We were going on three years and it was the most amazing gift I had ever received. I wore it on my right hand because I didn’t want to start rumors that we were engaged even though I had secretly hoped that it would’ve happened instead.

            But what I didn’t know is that that day would never come like I had always dreamt.

            Mark went off to college and my dumbass decided to take a gap year to collect my thoughts on what I wanted to do. I was just so smitten on the idea that Mark and I would get married and move in together and with his job as an engineer, I wouldn’t have to work so college would have been pointless—but, once again, that never came.

            Because on January 29th, six months after Mark started college, he took me out to one of our favorite places where we kissed and shared some amazing memories and I thought for sure that it was the day that he was gonna propose and I was getting so excited until, he stopped us. He forced us apart. He looked me straight in the eyes and said to me, “I love you every much, Jack, but there is something I need to tell you.” My heart was racing and for a moment, I smiled because I thought it was happening, then he finished with, “I’ve met someone else and I took you here to tell you that I believe we need to see other people.”

            My face fell, my expression changed, my heart fell into my stomach and I began to cry tears of anguish. He wrapped his arms around me and held me to him as I cried. I was never one to cry—I actually barely cried—but this was too much for me not to.

            I don’t remember how long we sat there but eventually, he pushed me up and brushed the remaining tears from my cheeks as he told me that he’ll never stop loving me but he believed that we needed to see other people. I didn’t agree with him but what could I say or do that would change his mind?

            I couldn’t.

            I went home that night, the promise ring still on my finger as I refused to remove it right now.

            It took two months, one week, three days, two hours, and fifty six minutes for me to finally remove the ring and tuck it away in a box. And that wasn’t even on my own accord, my friend Felix made me do it because he said it would bring me closure. No, it didn’t, it actually made the reality of everything worse.

            And six years later, I’m still feeling the aftershocks of the break up.

            And I know what you’re going to say. You’re going to think I’m an idiot for pinning after a guy that I had a high school fling with. You’re going to think that I’m not capable of moving on. But that’s not true. I’ve tried moving on, I’ve dated other men, and I’ve _tried._ But I just can’t live without him.

            Now, here I am, present day. I work at the local bookstore in my small town and I sell books and coffee for a living. I make minimum wage and can barely make rent each month but somehow, I skim by anyway. I have one good friend and no family to support me.

            Today was like every other day actually. I was sitting on the stool behind the counter enjoying a coffee that I had just made. I was shooting the shit with my coworker Emma and everything was normal.

            “Well, that guy over there is pretty attractive.”

            Emma pointed discreetly to a blonde haired man over by the book shelves. He was grabbing a book, opening it up to a few pages, and then stuffing it back on the shelf—no doubt in the wrong place.

            “No, not my type.” I answered with a laugh.

            She laughed back and nudged my shoulder in a playful way. Emma and I have been working together for two years now and we’ve grown pretty close. On occasion, I babysit her little boy Timmy and tonight would be one of those occasions.

            “So, you can still watch Timmy tonight, right?” She asked looking at me in a serious manner.

            “Yeah, it’s not like I have another life.” I said with a pitiful laugh.

            She slapped my arm, “Jack, don’t say that. Do as I say and ‘remain positive’. Anyway, I was hoping you still were because I told him that you were watching him and he got really excited.”

            “I’m really excited to watch him again.” I answered back, rubbing my arm from her hit, “So I pick him up at three right?” I asked looking at my watch and noticing it was just a little after eleven in the morning and my shift ended at noon after being here since six am.

            “Correct.” Emma said with a thumbs up, her perky smile lighting up the room, “Ooh!” She said pointing towards the door as it opened, “Another potential lover at three o’clock!”

            I just shoved her and laughed.

            ***

            After going home from my shift and taking a quick nap, I got in my car and drove the few miles to Emma’s apartment where she was waiting for me. I walked up the stairs and knocked on the door. It took a few moments before the door opened and I saw Emma pop her head out. Her normal brown hair that was always thrown in a ponytail was curled down her shoulders and she was wearing a tank top and a pair of jeans.

            “Oh, hey, you’re right on time.” She said inviting me inside.

            I walked into her tiny little apartment that was cluttered with children’s toys and other various items. But I gave her props. She was a struggling single mom and she was trying hard to get back out there and make a good life for Timmy and she was going all she could.

            “Thank you so much for this!” She said leaning over to me and kissing my cheek, “I told Timmy that you were taking him to the park so please, take him to the park.”

            “Okay.” I said looking around for the little boy.

            Suddenly, I heard the rambunctious footsteps running down the hall and I looked up to see Timmy running towards me with his eyes open, “Jack!” He yelled as he enveloped me in a big hug. For being only five, he was a strong little man.

            “Hey, Timmy. You ready to go to the park?” He nodded his head up and down. I smiled and ruffled his hair.

            “Okay, Timmy,” Emma said walking up to him and planting a big kiss on his cheek, “Mommy is going out for a while so Jack will be watching you. Remember everything I’ve told you and obey whatever Jack tells you. Do you understand that?” he nodded his head, “Okay, good. I’ll be home in time to tuck you in tonight. Love you.”

            “Love you too, mommy.” He said with a smile as he hugged her tightly. He let her go and she planted another kiss on his cheek.

            She stood up and waved goodbye to us as she grabbed her keys and headed out.

            I grabbed Timmy’s hand and smiled, “You ready?” he nodded again and pulled me out the door.

            The park was just a short walk from the apartment building. I’m actually pretty sure that the apartment building owned the park for the residents but I wasn’t sure. I’ve came here before with Timmy but it was when he was slightly younger.

            Once we came into view of the park, Timmy asked if could go to the swings and I told him to just remain in my view. He nodded his head and ran off happily, mingling with the other kids at the park. I decided that I needed to sit where I could see him at all times so I took a seat against the tree near the swing set that over looked all of the park so even if he left the swings, I could still see him and where he was going.

            As I sat there, I got out a book from the backpack I carried with me that was loaded with snacks and drinks and began to read. I grabbed a book quickly from my bookshelf before I left and I wasn’t even sure of the one I grabbed.

            But, it turned out to be not so bad and I enjoyed the solitude of reading. Timmy came over to me after a moment and asked to go and use the bathroom so I obliged and got up from where I was sitting to take him over to the bathrooms on the opposite side of the park, just up a slight hill.

            I waited for him outside of the building and I looked around at all of the people. It wasn’t an overly sunny day today but it was really warm so there were many people here. But yet again, it was the end of December in Southern California and that was expected. Kids are going to be going to be going back to school soon and parents will be never more grateful for that. 

            When he came back out, I took him back down to the playground and let him run ahead of me. As I grew closer, I noticed a man with a smaller child had occupied the same tree I was sitting at before. I was going to let it go until I realized that my backpack was still sitting against the bark and I didn’t want to lose it.

            I walked up to them and spoke, “Excuse me, I left my bag and I just wanted to grab it.”

            The man suddenly jumped and looked up at me and I felt my heart jump into my throat, “Oh, hey.”  

            Mark. Mark Edward Fishbach. My ex-boyfriend Mark. The Mark that broke my heart into pieces that’ll never be fixed. That Mark.

            I recognized his voice and his complexion instantly. But I still couldn’t believe he was here. In front of me. After years of no communication.

            “Mark?” I asked shocked.

            He smiled at me and pulled the little girl in closer to him, “Jack?” He asked back.

            I nodded, “So…”

            “Yeah…”

            This was awkward and I didn’t want to continue this anymore. I could feel tears prick my eyes and I was beginning to feel a panic attack coming on and I needed to get far away from him, fast.

            I didn’t even say anything else, I just bent down, grabbed my backpack, and turned on my heels and ran the other direction. I found an empty spot by myself on the grass and I pulled my knees to my chest as I felt my breathing quicken and my breaths turn shallow. I was beginning to feel the air thicken around me and the noises become louder. I pressed my hands up to my head and nearly screamed at the hypersensitivity that was happening.

            “Jack?” A small voice broke away my thoughts, “Are you okay?”

            I opened my eyes and looked up to see Timmy standing in front of me with a look of concern over his face. I just nodded, “Yes, Timmy. I’ll be okay. Go back and play, okay?”

            “No,” he said softly, sitting down next to me and wrapping his arms around me, “I wanna make you happy because everyone deserves to be happy.”

            I smiled at him and wrapped an arm around his shoulders, closing him in to me. We just sat on the grass and he told me jokes and funny stories and I found myself forgetting about _him_ for a moment in time.

            But then I saw something out of the corner of my eye and I looked up to see the same person standing over me, his hands running through his hair and a small girl attached to his leg, “Is he yours?” He asked pointing to Timmy.

            I shook my head, “No, a friends.” I replied softly, “Is she—“    

            “Yeah, she’s my daughter. She’ll be six this November.”

            I just nodded as I felt tears prick my eyes at the fact that he had a daughter. The fucking guy went from me to a woman and had a daughter. It was too much to take in and I felt the verge of another panic attack happening.

            “So, I was wondering if we could catch up sometime?” he asked rubbing the back of his neck, “I’m in town for a few weeks visiting family. We could meet up for coffee.”

            I shrugged, “I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”

            His hands moved down to his side and I saw the glimmer of a silver wedding band and I nearly burst into tears. He noticed that too before he suddenly hid his hand behind his back and acted like he never had shown it, “Can I at least give you my new number?” he asked.

            I didn’t respond but he pulled out a piece of paper from his pocket and fished through the satchel he was carrying and pulled out a blue marker. He quickly scratched down his number and handed it to me, “Please, Jack, meet up with me once.”

            I felt a small hand fist my shirt and I looked down to my lap to see a curled up Timmy who was snoring softly. I grabbed the paper from Mark’s hand and put it in my backpack, “Okay.”

            He didn’t say anything else. He rubbed his daughters back and said something to her and I couldn’t help but notice that he called her ‘Lily’ and a part of me died inside. Not because of that necessarily but because whenever we talked about the future, he always told me he wanted to have a daughter and name her Lily. Well, he got his wish didn’t he?

            I rubbed Timmy’s back and woke him up, “You tired buddy?” I asked.

            He nodded and groaned.

            “Come on,” I said picking him up and carrying him, “Let’s go home then and I won’t tell your mommy that you took a nap this late.”

            At the apartment, I let Timmy sleep on the couch as I put on a movie to make it look like he had fallen asleep during the movie. The whole time he slept, I never once watched the movie. I just kept thinking of how I saw Mark for the first time in so long today. It wasn’t a good feeling....

            My heart would race in a way that made it feel like I was having a heart attack. My mind would wander to the memories of us and they would start off good and then it’ll go to the night where we ended. I didn’t know how to react.

            Emma came home around seven and she was relieved to see that Timmy was passed out. She gave me a twenty dollar bill—which I wasn’t going to accept but she stuffed it into my pocket anyway, and then I left and went on my way.

            At home, I took Mark’s number from my backpack and was ready to just throw it away when I realized that the paper wouldn’t leave my fingers to go into the bag. It just wasn’t budging. So I took the number and set it on my nightstand and then got ready for bed—even though it was only eight.

            I never slept that night. I just tossed and turned.


	2. Chapter 2

 

It was two days after seeing Mark for the first time when I saw him again. He walked into the bookstore alone and I couldn’t avoid him. He didn’t notice me at first and I was sure that he wasn’t going to until he was ready to cash out. 

            It was near closing, I had only a few minutes left actually before I needed to lock up the doors and begin to clean. But I allowed for him to take up the last few minutes. He walked up to the register and sat down a book face down so I couldn’t read the title. Picking it up to scan it, I noticed what the title read and I didn’t know how to the react:

            _Ten Way’s to Deal with a Failing Marriage: And Ten Tips to Get Back in the Dating Realm._

Oh, oh, oh my.

            This is…new? I don’t know.

            I looked up at him and it was the first time that he recognized me within that space of nearly twenty minutes. His face was red and blushing and he appeared embarrassed, “Um…so....” He said.

            “Yeah…”

            “Do you maybe wanna go out for like a drink or something?” he asked suddenly and openly, “I need to get away for a while and I don’t know anyone around here anymore.”

            “Oh, marriage isn’t working?” I asked sarcastically, probably harsher than I should have. Divorce isn’t an easy topic—my brother went through it and he lost nearly everything from it. But, I wanted him to feel the hurt I had.

            He sighed and rubbed his eyes, “It never did.” He answered.

            “Oh, that’s a shame.”

            “Listen,” he said suddenly perking up, “Let’s just go out to the local pub and have a few drinks. I’d really like to catch up with you again.”

            “Yeah, so you can use me and throw me to the side again when you meet someone else?” I asked quickly.

            He threw his palms on the counter and it made such a noise that I jumped myself, “I _never_ used you, Jack. I loved you.”

            “Yeah, well...” I said softly, “Why are you even here?”

            He shrugged, “Jess and I thought that if we came here, it would help our marriage but it’s not.”

            “Oh.”

            “I know that this is awkward for you,” he said trying to keep up the pity game, “It’s awkward for me too but I need someone to talk to tonight and get me away from my failing life and I know you can do that.” He said reaching across the counter and placing a hand on my arm. A shock went through my skin and I pulled away, recoiling, “Please, go out with me tonight?”

            I shouldn’t have agreed. I should’ve gave him the cold shoulder or even lied and said I was dating someone, but I didn’t. Instead, I agreed and I shut up the store early so I could leave with him.

            I don’t know what I was thinking I was going to accomplish by doing this but there was something in my head telling me to follow him because fate works in mysterious ways.

            So that’s how I ended up here, at my apartment with Mark and I drinking away some fireball and bourbon. It wasn’t enough to get us drunk but it was enough to make us expose things we never would’ve.

            As we got talking, it felt like old times. Like when we would sit at his house when his parent’s weren’t home and we break into their liquor cabinet and we’d drink until we would have mindless drunk sex on his bed. It was ultimately the best memories I had of us together.

            “Can I confess something to you?” He said looking at me.

            I looked up at him and nodded my head, swallowing before hearing him.

            “I cheated on you.”

            I felt my heart leap into my throat and it was six years ago all over again, “What?” I asked feeling tears prick my eyes.

            “I didn’t leave you because I wanted to, I left you because I had gotten Jess pregnant accidently and I had no other option.” He reached out and grabbed my hand, “I never want to let you go because you were so important to me but I was drunk and it was a mistake and I wished to god that I never happened but…I got Lily out of it and I can’t call her a mistake.”

            I felt a slight sob leave my throat and my chest tighten as bad memories flooded in. His arms were quickly wrapped around me and I wanted to push him away but he always made me feel so safe that I just couldn’t.

            I didn’t cry though. I just sniffled and dry sobbed where no tears ever fell.

            “I loved you so much, Mark.” I whispered, “I haven’t been able to love since.”

            “I haven’t either.” He replied back, pushing me back slightly so we could look each other in the eyes.

            We stared for a moment and blue met brown in such a way that I started falling for him all over again. I felt his hand come up and brush some of my hair from my forehead and I leaned into the touch.

            And then it happened.

            He leaned in and kissed me and I was instantly taken back to when we used to kiss before. The kiss became heated and it happened so fast that I didn’t realize I was straddling him and he was sucking on my neck.

            I grabbed his head and forced him back to my own lips as we kissed again and again. I was making out with my ex on the couch and I wasn’t even preparing on stopping it either.

            Until Mark stopped and I whimpered.

            “We shouldn’t do this.” He said, “I’m still married.”

            “But just once more.” I said suddenly, not even realizing the words came from my mouth, “Sex with you was always amazing and I—I—no one has ever compared to you. You left me ruined.”

            I bent down to kiss him but I was suddenly thrown off from him and onto the floor of my carpet. I felt humiliated and I could feel my cheeks turning bright red. I was acting like a slut and I shouldn’t have. Yeah, this was my ex but my married ex and—I just can’t do what I just did.

            “I’m so sorry.” I whispered feeling tears prick my eyes and threaten to fall. My chest began to tighten as well, “I shouldn’t have done that or said that.”

            “No, no, it’s not your fault.” He said in a monotone voice, “I’m the one who initiated this.” He got up from the couch and stuck out his hand, helping me up from my position on the floor.

            As I stood in front of him, I couldn’t even make eye contact. My gaze fell to the floor as tears started to fall down my cheeks and onto my shirt. I felt my breathing hitch and my own mouth open as a sob fell from my lips. I was suddenly gathered into a pair of strong arms and I broke even further.

            I sobbed into Mark’s shirt and grasped so hard at the fabric that I was sure I was going to tear it from the seams. He rubbed my back and I could feel his cheeks on the top of my head as he just held me.

            When I felt the tears stop, I picked my head up and looked at him. He had glossy eyes and his face looked red. If I wasn’t so tired and ready to just forget about this, I would’ve been able to register that he had cried with me but it wasn’t something I could comprehend at that moment.

            He pulled back and rubbed my shoulder in a sympathetic way, “I need to get going.” He whispered softly.

            “Okay.” I mouth back, not hearing any sounds escape.

            He went to turn and leave when he suddenly jerked back around and pressed his lips to my own again. It was much more heated than before. It started hesitant but quickly climbed into something much more than we could control. I was lifted off from my feet and picked up by Mark, our lips still connected. I wrapped my legs around him as I felt myself being carried.

            I was gently laid on my back on a soft cover and I recognized it as my bed. My arms were around his neck and my legs still wrapped around him. He pulled back and began to attack my neck, a moan leaving my lips in the process.

            His hands were roaming down the front of my shirt and I felt one tug at the hem, pushing it up. I arched my back and let him take it fully off, exposing my untoned stomach and slightly hairy chest.

            I took this time to let my own hands roam down his chest. His sat up from the assault on my neck and looked down at me, his eyes filled with lust. I bit my lip, knowing that that was one of his weaknesses when we were together. He groaned and rubbed down my chest.

            “I really…really want you.” He growled, “I _need_ you.”

            “I want you too.” I breathed out, pressing my hands to his jawline and pulling him down to me as I kissed him again.

            In a moment of pure lust and sex, my pants were unbuttoned and thrown off to the side. I was clad naked in my boxers and he was palming me through the soft fabric. I bit my lip to suppress a moan as he reached under the baggy material and fisted around me, stroking fast and steady.

            “You’re overdressed.” I said with a smirk, beginning to claw at his shirt. He quickly threw it off and then reached down and undid his pants, standing up to remove them. He was wearing a tight pair of briefs underneath and I ran my hands up and down his hips.

            “I missed this.” I said softly.

            “I missed this too.” He said leaning back down and kissing me passionately.

            Now, this morning if you would’ve came up to me and said, _‘at precisely 12:05 tonight, you will be getting fingered by your ex”,_ I probably would’ve slapped you and called you an idiot. But, that’s exactly what was happening.

            My back was arched and I was biting my fist as his fingers worked so expertly inside of me, “I missed your fingers so much.” I gasped out, “You always knew exactly what to do.”

            He looked down at me and smirked. I smirked back and as he touched my spot, I arched my back off from the bed and screamed out, “I think you’re ready.” He whispered in a sultry voice.

            I don’t remember him grabbing a condom or him grabbing lube…I just remember feeling him enter me. I pulled him down to me as I begged from him to go deep…faster…harder. I was never one to be very vocal during our sex but nothing was holding me back tonight.

            He was rocking over me, his hands on either sides of my shoulders. I could feel the faint breath of his over my skin that gave me goosebumps. Everything about this moment was incredible.

            I came within moments, the familiar bubbling had come all too fast and I couldn’t give much of a warning. The rhythmic tightening around Mark made him thrust into me one more last and final time and come, screaming out my name.

            He fell down over me, our breathing meddled. My fingers raked up and down his back. He was breathing into my neck and I giggled slightly at our positioning. But then it turned serious and he shot up, quickly pulling himself out of me, leaving me feel empty.

            “I have to go.” He said frantic, “This was a mistake. Oh my god. I have to go.”

            He quickly grabbed his clothes and threw them on as he ran out the door.

            And that was it…

            I was left breathless and speechless, naked and spent, hurt and torn. I fell back on my bed and pressed my face into the pillow, crying at how stupid I was to have done that. I shouldn’t have let it happened but it did and I can’t take it back…ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any kudos and comments are greatly appreciated :)


	3. Chapter 3

I decided to go to work the next morning…I didn’t want to stay in my apartment where I was reminded of what happened. I walked into the bookstore and I felt like all eyes were on me. I felt like I should have had the Scarlet Letter ‘A’ emblazoned on my shirt.

            Emma instantly knew something was wrong and she met up with me in the workers room in the back. I was in the process of grabbing my timecard and clocking in when she stopped me, “Sean, go home.” She never used my real name. When her motherly instincts came through, she would use it, “There is clearly something bugging you and you’re not going to be focused today.”

            “I can’t go home.” I replied softly, punching my card and then sitting it in its designated spot, “I just can’t.”

            She grabbed my shoulder and pulled me away from door, further into the room, “Did something happen at your apartment last night?” She asked seriously.

            I shrugged, hoping to not get into it.

            “Sean!”

            “Fine,” I said throwing my hands up defeated, “I had sex with my married ex and then proceeded to have him say to me that it was all a mistake before he ran out of the door. I’d like to say that I’m not exactly on the best list right now.”

            “Jack…”

            “Save the sympathy, Emma.” I said harshly, “I wanted it, I _pushed_ for it. I don’t know what the hell was going through my mind.”

            “Don’t beat yourself over it, bud.” She said rubbing my arm.

            I tensed for a moment, an uneasy feeling rushing over me, before I spoke.

            “We should go back out to work.”

            I gently pushed her hand off from my arm and turned to walk out.

            I had to work and just got my mind of from things. I just had to.

            I worked stock for most of the day. I decided that stocking shelves and writing a stock report would keep be busy. I was certainly right.

            Time got away from me and I didn’t even know it was time for my lunch break until Emma pushed me away from the boxes and papers and told me to go on lunch. I quickly ate the prepared sandwich that I had brought in with me this morning.

            Following lunch, I went back to stocking items and doing inventory until Emma forced me to go on cash register so she could do the stocking. I didn’t want to give up the thing that was making my mind get rid of all the thoughts about the night before but I knew we were supposed to take turns doing such so I let her.

            But it was ultimately a horrible mistake.

            I was on cash for no more than five minutes when the calm store was broken by the bell sounding that there was a customer walking in. I looked up to observe the customer when I saw who it was and my chest tightened.

            In walked none other than Mark, his daughter Lily, and a gorgeous tall brunette haired women. I felt myself become sick and I instantly wanted to turn and hide but my manager would not allow this to happen. I have to put on a brave face and treat him kindly. Even in he’s ripped me apart from the inside out.

            “Emma,” I said coughing, “I need you over here for a—the computer froze.”

            She looked up at me and cocked her head, “What in Sam’s hell…”

            “Come here.” I said through gritted teeth, motioning her over.

            She stood up from her position and walked over to me. She maneuvered her hips around the counter space and looked at the screen, “It doesn’t look frozen.”

            “Of course it’s not frozen!” I said frantic, “That guy with the kid and the wife that just walked in,” I whispered, “Is the ex that I slept with last night. What the hell do I do?”

            Emma’s eyes widened and she shoved me in front of her, “Go take a twenty minute smoke break.” She said rushing me out, “Go!”

            Thing was, I had full intention to utilize the smoke break even though I didn’t smoke but, of course that didn’t happen. Exiting from around the counter, I took the corner too sharp and ran my hip into the side. I grimaced in pain, swore a little to myself, and went to move when my body did this awkward ‘pained’ move that made me jolt my body to the side and my shoulder ran full force into Mark’s back. Mark jolted forward and turned his head and I felt like I was caught like a deer in headlights.

            “I am so sorry.” I said putting my hands up.

            He shrugged it off, “Don’t worry about it.” He said harshly.

            I went to walk away and completely ignore the situation when I heard this shrill voice behind me say, “What the hell did that employee think he was doing? Rushing around like that…he’ll cause a proper injury around here. What a—“

            I turned around and I knew I must have been making some type of a face because she gasped at me and grabbed Mark’s arm, “Come on, Mark, we’re leaving this store.”

            Mark ripped his arm from her grip, “Jess, just chill out okay? He didn’t do anything wrong. Let’s just look for Lily’s book and then leave.”

            He looked back at me with an expression that I couldn’t pinpoint and then headed down one of the aisles for children’s books, Lily tugging him along in the front.

            I looked over at Emma who was gawking at me. I didn’t feel like taking a break anymore after that. I walked back over to the counter and stood next to her, feeling my chest tightening and my breathing quicken. She nudged my shoulder and pointed subtly, “You slept with that things husband?” She asked hushed.

            I nodded, “Mark and I were together for four years. We started dating when we were both fifteen. He broke up with me because he met her. We met at the park the day that I watched Timmy and he explained he was in town for a few days and wanted to meet up. So, we did, last night when he came into this store to buy a book. Then he told me he cheated on me, with her, got her pregnant and that’s why we broke up. He told me he still loved me, we fucked, and then he ran.”

            I paused for a moment and then said, “I love him. And it’s so hard for me to look at him in that way…with her and his daughter. That was supposed to be me. Not her.”

            My voice raised slightly and Emma shushed me, “Go take a break, Jack.” She said, “You deserve it.”

            I just nodded and headed off, winding my way through the people towards the door that read, _EXIT: EMPLOYEES ONLY._

I pushed the door open and started out when the noticed the door never shut behind me. I turned around to see what was holding the door when I was felt myself tense, “What are you doing?”

            Mark looked at me and shut the door softly behind himself, “Trying to talk to you.”

            “We have nothing to discuss.” I said biting my lip.

            “Yes, we do actually.” He said walking closer to me, his intimidating stature felt like it was attacking me, “We have to talk about last night and this was the only way I could do it by getting away from Jess. I went back home last night I told her that I met up with an old friend and she put two and two together so we’re stuck. She doesn’t know it’s you though but I’m not escaping her sights for very long.”

            “How were you able to get away from her just now?” I asked matter of factly.

            “I told her I was going to find the bathroom so I can’t be long but just talk with me.” He began, “Last night, I never intended on sleeping with you. I never intended on anything like that happening. I didn’t come to you to just get a quick fuck and then leave. I really had all intentions to clear the air with you and maybe try and reconcile something. I didn’t want us to move that fast.”

            “But yet, you told me you loved me and that you wanted me and you left me alone feeling like a slut and a homewrecker.” I answered biting my cheek.

            “I _do_ love you.” He said walking forward and putting his hands on my shoulders. I recoiled and pulled back away from the touch, “I’ve always loved you and that’s why last night, I couldn’t stop myself. I needed you and I wanted you. I still want you.”

            He leaned forward and pressed his lips to my own. I shrieked and pulled back, pushing him off from me, “Mark, stop!”

            “Do you not want me?” He whispered seductively, “Your body language says otherwise.”

            It was at that time that I noticed my hands where on his arms and my body was close to his. I was also beginning to harden and my face flushed at how easily that had happened.

            “You called me a mistake last night.” I whispered feeling tears prick my eyes, “You said it was a mistake.”

            “Jack, a lot of shit was going through my mind last night but I shouldn’t have called something that I wanted as well a mistake. I want you.”

            He leaned forward and kissed me again and my mind was a clouded mess. And once again, I was unaware of my actions until I was suddenly pushed into the wall, my pants around my knees and Mark thrusting into me, fast and quick. We both finished within a few moments and he pulled out. I quickly slipped my pants back up and turned around. His face was flushed and I was sure my own was too.

            “We should get together another time.” He whispered against my lips as he leaned forward and pressed a chaste kiss to my lips. He pulled back and said, “I leave to go back home in a week.”

            “But you’re married.” I said softly, “We can’t just sleep together behind her back…”

            “Yes, we can.” Mark answered, “We’re getting divorced anyway. You and I, we still love each other. We work so well together. We both want each other. If we start now, maybe by the time Jess and I are divorced, we can fix whatever we once had.”

            I swallowed hard and felt tears come to my eyes, “Promise me this.” I said through gritted teeth and a single tear rolling down my cheek, “Promise me that or else I won’t do it. I can’t be strung along on this false sense of security.”

            He nodded his head and smoothed his hand over my cheek, “I. Promise. You. That.” He enunciated.

            “Okay.” I whispered back, tears brimming my eyes with the fact that in my heart, I knew I had just made a terrible mistake.

            Mark and I’s next few days were filled with what some many call adulterated romance. He’d sneak over to my place, we’d talk for a few moments, and then we were enjoying each other’s pleasures.

            But as the last day of Mark’s holiday back here came, I began to feel the familiar pull that I had once felt—it was like he was leaving for college all over again. We were lying in bed, my head resting on his chest as I felt the tears begin down my cheeks.

            “Don’t cry.” He whispered, stroking my cheek, “We can still talk and maybe even Skype when Jess is at work.”

            But that is just the thing, my blossoming romance with Mark was about to be clipped short because he still had a wife. Deep down, I knew what I was doing was wrong. I was a ‘mistress’ and I was a homewrecker. I knew this but I couldn’t stop my feelings for Mark. They were growing stronger every day and that terrified me. But I just wanted Mark like I had before.

            “But what if she finds out?” I asked sniffling, my voice cracking.

            “She’ll never find out.” He whispered back, “I promise.”

            He pulled me up by my shoulders so I was face to face with him and he brushed my hair from my forehead, “You’re gorgeous, Jack.” He said softly, “Never forget that you are my Jack. You will always by my Jack.”

            I nodded my head, biting my lip as my eyes shut and I began to cry. I felt his lips brush a kiss onto my hairline as I weakened and fell down onto him.

            As I drifted off to sleep, I could have sworn I heard him say, _I love you._ But I couldn’t be certain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any kudos and comments are greatly appreciated :)


	4. Chapter 4

It’s been two months since all of that began.

            And I’m here to say that I have barely talked to Mark since he’s left.

            I would wait day in and day out for him to answer my texts or to even give me some type of a response and he just never could. When I finally got ahold of him, he told me he’s been busy. He said that Jess was going through some stuff and when that was all over, he’d have time for me.

            Yeah, okay, I call bullshit on that one.            

            I never told Emma about what was going on and I never even got a hint that she had guessed it either. I watched Timmy once and a while for her as she tried to get back on the dating scene and she even insisted taking me out with her but I always declined.

            I was promised Mark and I’m sorry that I don’t want to let something like that go.

            But then Valentine’s Day happened and let’s just say the day started turning into shit very early on.

            I woke up feeling so nauseated that I couldn’t get out of bed. I tried standing up and nearly vomited on the floor so I retired back to a flat position on my duvet. Once that feeling passed, I got up to brush my teeth, only to feel that horrible feeling once again and this time properly throwing up into the toilet next to the sink.

            I decided quickly that it had to be the meal I ate the night before. I had a few friends over, Felix and his girlfriend, and Emma, and we had grilled out chicken and I know that chicken can sometimes be messy to cook so it had to just be a bad bought of chicken. It was the only explanation.

            What got even weirder was that when I got to work, I was fumigated by the scent of coffee and cookies and normally, I wouldn’t be able to sense that. But today, I ran right over to the employee lounge and began woofing down cookies like they were going out of style. Emma noticed this and asked me what was happening and I shrugged and said I was hungry.

            All throughout the day at work, I became unconscious to the fact that I was snacking on food all the time. I was eating little bits of candy, or I was running to the break room to grab a cookie and so on.

            I was standing at the counter, waiting for a customer, when Emma came up and poked me in the ribs, “You know, Jack,” She said with a laugh, “If you weren’t a male, I would have mistaken your eating habits on being pregnant.”

            I scoffed, “One, that’s impossible. Two, I’m just hungry.”

            She smiled at me and laughed slightly, “Oh, Jack what are we—“       

            She was cut short by a flower delivery guy walking into the store with a gorgeous bouquet of roses in a vase and a large red ribbon around it. He walked over to us and looked at his board, “I have a delivery here for a Mr. McLoughlin.”

            I rose my hand up, “That’s me.”

            He smiled and handed me the vase, “I just need you to sign for these.”

            I took the pen from his hand and sighed the paper. He nodded his head to us and left without another word. I quickly picked through the buds until I found a card. Opening it discreetly, I read it to myself, _To my Jack, I know I haven’t been that great of a lover these past few months but I hope these make up for that. I also wanted to tell you that I will be up there in two weeks for my mother’s birthday so I hope to see you then. All my love—M._

            “Ooh, who is M?” Emma asked looking over my shoulder.

            I stuffed the card in my pocket and laughed nervously, “No one.”

            She poked my ribs again and laughed, “I’m just messing with ya.” She paused and then said, “You’re gaining weight by the way. You’re a little bloated in your midsection. It’s probably from all of your eating!”

            I shoved her back and just smirked, not saying another word.

            The next weird sign that something was up happened a week later.

            I had gone into work early at six in the morning to open and everything was feeling fine. Then Emma came in and something she was wearing just upset my stomach. I began to gag and feel myself ready to lost whatever food I had in my system, “What the hell scent are you wearing?” I asked her, covering my mouth and nose.

            “My normal perfume.” She said quickly, smelling her shirt, “What’s going on? I wear this all the time.”

            My contents in my stomach rose and pushed her out of the way as I quickly vomited into the trashcan behind the counter. Emma bent down and rubbed my back as I dry heaved, “Sweetie, go to the doctor!” She said sternly, “Something is obviously wrong with you.”

            I stood up, picking up the garbage so I could go dispose of it properly, “No, I’m fine. I swear.”

            She cocked her hip and placed her hand on his side, “Sean, listen to me,” She began even more stern, “You are _going_ to the doctor because I’m about to call up the owner and close the shop for the day to drag your ass down there. Go get rid of—that—and then we’re leaving. End of story.”

            Reluctantly, I went with her.

            The whole time I was waiting with her in the doctors, I just kept thinking about how Mark had told me he was coming back Friday, in two days, and was staying for a week to be with me. I was excited to see him, more so than I was before, and the thought of him possibly false hope was making me nearly on the brink of tears and a mental breakdown.

            The longer I sat in doctors with Emma, the more I fought that there was nothing wrong with me and this was a pointless visit that was going to cost me $60 that I didn’t necessarily have. I was tight on money this month because I had spent most of it on buying new sheets and duvets for when Mark comes and then I saved a big chunk for us.

            “Sean William McLoughlin?” I picked up my head from looking down at my lap and stood up. Emma went to stand up as well but I put my hand out and shook my head.

            “No, you are not coming in with me.”

            She stuck out her lip in an over-dramatic way and I laughed slightly.

            I followed the nurse through the white doorway and was taken to a consultation room. Now, if there was one thing that I hated, it was the doctors. I hated the smell of disinfectant and the over shiny complexion of everything in the rooms. I also feel like they treat the doctors more like a police interrogation than a normal visit.

            The first thing they did when I got to the room was make me step on the scale to get an accurate weight. Not feeling nervous, I stepped onto the scale and waited for the nurse to give me the number. But I wasn’t expecting her to give me _that_ number.

            “Current weight: 163.” Okay, so I’m a small guy but I know for a fact that I always weighed closer to 150 than 170. That was a big red flag.

            But I shook it off to my bad eating habits these past couple of weeks and just went with it.

            Sitting on the exam table, the nurse took my temperature and my blood pressure but my blood pressure was elevated and that scared me too; it read 140/90.

            The nurse took that as a red flag too and asked questions about my heart, to which, I couldn’t really answer because I’ve always had a normal blood pressure and they have never detected any heart problems before.

            When the nurse left so the doctor could come in, I sat in silence in the white room. That was until my phone rang in my pocket and I looked down at the screen to see it was Mark calling. I knew that I needed to answer him.

            “Hey.”

            “Hey, I’ll be there by tomorrow morning.”

            I smiled when I heard his voice for the first time in forever.

            “Okay, I can’t wait to see you,” I said, “I miss you…”

            “I miss you too, Jack. I can’t wait to finally be able to see you after this long.” I felt myself blush.

            The door handle suddenly jarred and I jumped, “Listen, Mark, I’m at an appointment right now and I’ll—“

            “What for? Is everything okay?” He asked, his voice laced with concern.

            “Yes, just, I need to go.” I didn’t want to let him go.

            “Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

            “Okay.” I said, biting my tongue from saying ‘I love you’ to him.

            But he hung up before anything else was said and I was left stuffing my phone in my pocket when the door opened and the doctor walked in.

            “Hello, Sean, I’m Dr. Liendecker” The women said putting her hand out for me to shake, “Tell me what’s going on?”

            “Well, it started a few weeks ago when I started waking up and feeling really sick to my stomach. That led to vomiting as soon as I woke up. Now, my sense are heightened. I find the simple smells of my best friends perfume to be repulsive because I can suddenly smell it. I also am able to smell food from like a mile away, which is really kind of hilarious. And I’ve been eating like mad, I’m never not hungry.”

            She nodded her head as she wrote everything down. She looked up at me a serious look and said, “Sean, on your chart it says that you are a carrier, could this be because of—“

            “A carrier?” I asked confused, “What’s a carrier? I’ve never heard this term as long as I’ve lived.”

            She nodded her head and put her hand up, “It’s totally okay, Sean. Let me explain it in Lehman’s Terms. A carrier is a rare genetic mutilation that occurs in 1 in 100,000 males across the world. What it is that when you are formed in the womb, you are originally a female and the female inner parts such as a uterus and eggs are formed but then you are born as a male. Because of this miraculous mishap, you are able to bare and birth children. You are able to get pregnant.”

            At that point, my mouth was slack jawed down to my chest and my eyes were blurry from, tears? I don’t even know at this point.

            “No, it’s not even possible for that.” I said quickly and accusingly, “No, that’s not even biologically possible. I’m a male!”

            “Yes, you are indeed identified as a male but you are a carrier.” She said looking at me, “It’s going to be a shock to you. It always is but I specialize in this type of rare occurrence. Now, I’m not saying that you are 100% pregnant but there is a really high chance of it. Carriers are exceptionally fertile.”

            “Wait,” I said blinking back tears, “You’re being serious.”

            She nodded, “Yes, Sean, I’m being completely serious. We’re going to get a lab technician up here to the room to take a blood sample for rapid testing.”

            She wrote down a couple more things and then pulled out this little hand held tablet from her pocket and punched something in before speaking again, “Have you ever been on a birth control?”

            I shook my head, feeling the anger boil within my blood, “No, why in the hell would I be on birth control if I never even knew about this?” I asked harshly.

            “Your parents never told you about this? At all? No mention of anything…”

            “No!” I interrupted, “They never told me.”

            “Okay, well, the lab technician is on their way and will be here shortly. In the meantime, I’m going to step out and see another patient. When the technician is done, I’ll come back when the tests are back from the lab.”

            I didn’t say anything, I just sat in silence as she left the room.

            As I was waiting for the inevitable, I felt tears run down my cheeks and drip onto my shirt and for the first time, everything hit me.

            What the hell is all of this? I can’t be actually pregnant.

            Mark and I used precautions, we always had.

            But then it hit me again, like a ton of bricks. No, we didn’t always use protection. Our ‘reunion’ two months ago was so rushed that I don’t think we used anything. But neither of us knew about my condition anyway. I never would’ve either.

            What the hell was I going to do? Mark is married still with his own kids with Jess and if I’m having his child that will probably be it for me. He’ll probably throw me off again. He’d never stay with me. I also am not financially stable enough to have a child. I can barely support myself. I could never give this baby a good life. Let’s be honest about this.

            I couldn’t keep the baby. Maybe I’d even have an abortion before Mark found out. That could be a possibility.

            The lab technician came in and did what she needed to before being done just as soon as she had started. I was just numb to everything and I didn’t even feel what she did. She could’ve been talking to me the whole time and I never would have said anything back.

            I was in shock.

            I don’t even know how much time passed before Dr. Liendecker came back in and was holding a lab report, “Hey, Sean, are you doing okay?”

            I shrugged and wiped my eyes with the sleeves of my shirt.

            “So am I?” I asked through a cracked voice.

            She sighed, “Congratulations, Sean, you’re definitely pregnant.”

            The dam that was holding back the tears broke so fast that I couldn’t stop it. I crumpled into myself as sobs wracked my body. Dr. Liendecker walked over to me and rubbed my back, telling me that everything was going to be okay.

            When the tears subsided and I felt strong enough to pick my head up and looked at her, I could see the sympathy and pity in her eyes, “I understand that this is a lot for you to take in but I know that you are strong and you will make every right decision needed. I’m going to require you to make an appointment for two weeks and we’ll do an ultrasound on the little baby.”

            “I’m having a baby…” I whispered, wiping my cheeks.

            “Yes, Sean, you’re having a baby. But remember what I just said, everything will be okay. I promise you.”

            I nodded my head and took a deep, stuttered breath.

            “I’m also giving you a prescription to help with your high blood pressure. It’ll be totally safe for the baby and I’m only going to keep you on it until your blood pressure returns to normal. I’m also going to give you a prescription for a prenatal vitamin specifically for carriers.” She handed me the little receipt and I just ran it through my fingers, staring into space, “I do suggest that you do some research on carriers in the meantime and healthy carrier pregnancy do’s and don’ts.” She rubbed my shoulder, “You aren’t alone.”

            I nodded my head and took another staggered breath. I sniffled my nose and looked at the doctor, “Thank you,” was all I said.

            “Now,” She said handing me a sheet of paper, “These are some common symptoms that you will be feeling right now. At your next appointment, we will determine how many weeks but I’m guessing by your size you are around ten weeks along already.” She looked down at a sheet of paper she had herself on her clipboard, “Okay, so some of the symptoms are morning sickness, increase of appetite, heightened sense of smell, sensitivity to light when you first wake up in the morning, oily skin, shinier hair, increased sex drive, emotional tendencies—“

            “I can just read them here but I know most of them.” I said interrupting her.

            “I’m only doing with job, Sean.” She said with a crossed look, “You’re not going to make this easy are you?”

            “No,” I said cocking an eyebrow, “I’m a twenty four year old male who just found out they’re having a baby who, by the way, is a product of me sleeping with a married man as his quote on quote mistress while he’s unhappy with his wife. I’m already contemplating…”

            “Calm down,” She said raising her hand, “You’re going to rile yourself up and that isn’t healthy for the little baby growing within you.” She gently pushed my shoulder, “Relax for a moment and lift your shirt up.”

            I looked at her questioningly, but did as she said.

            I had a very small bump that wouldn’t be visible to anyone else but it was visible to me, “Put your palms flat on your belly.”

            I did as she said and I felt the roundness of my stomach. My breathing hitched, “Every time you feel stressed or you don’t know what to do, put your hands on your stomach and remember but that you have a living, breathing being growing inside you that will call you ‘daddy’ one day. How do you feel?”

            I shrugged and felt a few tears slip out.

            “I think we’re done here for today but I do need you to schedule that appointment in a few weeks.”

            I pushed my shirt down and got off from the table.  

            I walked out of the exam room and to the desk to make my next appointment. I took note that when I looked in the glass for a moment that my cheeks were red and tear stained and my eyes were puffy. I knew I wasn’t getting past Emma without an explanation. I’ll have to lie.

            I walked out of the white door and noticed Emma immediately. She got up and ran over to me, “Oh my god, Jack, what happened?”

            I shrugged, “I just need to drop off a prescription and then go home. Please.” I said softly walking past her.

            The car ride to the pharmacy was silent. I walked inside by myself and dropped the prescription off without even a word to them barely. The drive to my house was just as painful. When we stopped in the driveway to my apartment building, I noticed that there was an unfamiliar car in the driveway. I told Emma my goodbyes and got out.

            Walking over to the car, I was greeted by the door swinging open and Mark engulfing me in his arms, picking me up and spinning me around, “Oh, Jack, I missed you so much.”

            I felt my breath hitch in my throat as I silently screamed from pure surprise and bewilderment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any kudos and comments are greatly appreciated :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No spoilers yet: but i need baby names! So...if you all could give me some male and female names, i will greatly appreciate it! :)

Once inside, it didn’t take long for myself to be seduced by Mark’s charms. Lying on the bed with him over me, kissing me and holding my face in his strong hands was exactly what I needed to forget all of this.

            His hands suddenly left my face and began to roam down my body, stopping on my stomach. He pulled back and looked between us, “Not to totally kill the mood, but you’ve gained some weight.”

            I shrugged and felt tears brim my eyelashes again, “I’m sorry,” I don’t know why I said that but I felt like it was all I could say.

            “No, baby, no,” He said kissing my cheek, “Don’t ever apologize for that. Your body is perfect.”

            I smiled at him and leaned up, pressing a kiss to his lips to stop the conversation.

            Our clothes had already been shucked so the feeling of his hard erection against my own and I felt like my hormones were on fire. I felt like a horny teenager all over again. I was begging for Mark now.

            “Please,” I whisper breathily, “I need you so badly.”

            “You got me.” He whispered back, reaching between my legs and feeling around until the tip of his finger touched my most private place and circled around it. I moaned at the touch and felt my nails dig into his back.

            He sat up quickly and looked around for a moment, “Lube?”

            “First drawer.” I said out of breath.

            He opened the drawer to my nightstand and pulled out the small bottle. He squeezed a good amount on his fingers and rubbed it together. He then made quick work of reaching between my legs again and pushing in a finger. I jumped slightly at the intrusion but my body welcomed him fast and I was soon moaning out loud and arching my back as he moved slowly and then added a second finger.

            It wasn’t until a third finger was added and he pressed around for my special spot that I really felt like a horny schoolgirl. I was moaning loudly and felt over stimulated but in a good way. Maybe being pregnant had its perks.

            Wait, no, we are _not_ thinking about that when you’re about to be fucked by the man that impregnated you to begin with me.

            “I need your big cock inside me.” I said begging, “Please, oh my god I need it!”

            He slipped his fingers out and quickly lubed out his dick before pressing against my entrance. But something inside my mind snapped and I grabbed him to stop him, “Are you wearing a condom?”

            He looked at me in disbelief, “No,” He said shaking his head, “You’re not going to get pregnant and I don’t have anything.”

            I almost scoffed at the pregnancy remark. If only he fucking knew.

            But I gave in anyway and breathed out, letting him go, “Okay.”

            He breeched me and didn’t stop until he was fully seated into me. I can’t even describe my feelings at that moment but it was amazing! I felt so full and he felt so big compared to any other time.         

            I could get used to these feelings.

            He moved slowly at first, my fingers clawing his back as I moaned his name like a mantra. His head was tucked into my neck and I could feel his breathing between when his lips sucked on my throat, leaving a clear mark in their place.

            But I needed more. I needed something much more than he was giving me at the moment.

            “Faster.” I suddenly gasped out, “Harder, faster, more!”

            He sat up from his position and reached between us, grabbing my aching need as he stroked me. His thrusts sped up and he was suddenly moving so fast and so deep that I was moaning louder than ever before. If I had any close neighbors, they would not be happy with the noises that was going on right now.

            When he hit my prostate for the first time, I nearly leapt up and my back arched, my hands fisting the sheets, nearly ripping the seams, “Do that again!”

             He smiled down at me, sweat beading on his forehead, “Oh, of course.”

            I licked my lips, tasting the salt on them from my own sweat. He kept hitting my spot over and over again and I lost it. The heat pooled in my belly and white streaked across our stomach and over his fist.

            He came a few moments later, burying himself completely, falling over me with a grunt. I wrapped my arms lazily around his back, holding him to me. He pressed butterfly kisses to my neck and I smirked into his hair.

            He sat up and rolled over, pulling out of me. He kept his arms around and held me to him. Our breathing was slowing down as exhaustion overtook our spent bodies and I looked up at him, my blue eyes meeting brown as I said, “I love you.”

            I meant it too. I really did.

            He brushed my sweat drenched hair from my forehead and kissed its place, “I love you too.” He whispered back.

            But there was a part of me that didn’t believe him. My heart wanted to but my mind didn’t.

            I snuggled into his body and felt myself fall asleep.

            My body was too tired for all of this.   

            ***

            I wouldn’t have gotten out of bed when I did but my stomach was growling and I was getting extremely hungry.

            And now, Mark was still passed out in my bed as I sat on my couch in his tee-shirt, it was way oversized on me, and a pair of boxers while downing half of the pizza that I had from last night with no shame.

            I was hungry and feeding for two—which is still so weird to think about. I was pretty sure denial was going to set in soon.

            I heard footsteps and I looked up to see Mark walk out from my room in a pair of boxers, “You’re wearing my shirt, like you always used to.”

            He smiled a big grin at me and walked over to me, pressing a kiss to my lips, “Ooh, what are you eating?”

            “Pizza.”

            “Share a slice?”

            I handed him a piece of warmed up pizza from the box as I indulged in my third piece, “You’re eating a lot.”

            I looked over at him as I finished off the piece, “No, I’m not.”

            “Yes, you are.” He said accusingly, “Babe, you’re going to gain a lot of weight.”

            “Well, that’s inevitable.” I said softly.

            “What?” He asked.

            “Nothing.”

            We ate silently for a moment before anything happened. I was getting the craving for chocolate so I walked up absentmindedly to the kitchen and ruffled around myself for something with chocolate. I found a jar of Hershey’s hot fudge and my mind told me, ‘don’t do it’ but my stomach was like, ‘yes, let’s!”

            So I grabbed the jar, and the spoon, and took a spoonful of the fudge as Mark stared at me in awe. I licked the spoon off and made eye contact with him, “I never remember you having such a huge appetite after sex.”

            “It just started.” I said shrugging again as I licked another spoonful, satisfying every craving that I never knew I had.

            “Keep licking the spoon that way and we may be up for another round.” Mark said with a smirk, getting up from his place on the couch and walking over to me. He put his strong hands on my hips and pulled me closer, nipping at my neck.

            I sighed and put the jar behind my back and threw my arms around his neck. He stopped his assault on my neck on and moved to my lips, pressing a strong kiss to them. I smiled into it and he pulled back, “How about we go and shower together?” he asked huskily.

            “As long as some of the time is about us getting dirty again.” I said smirking, teasing Mark so we could make up for lost time.

            ***

            “I should probably get going.” He said smoothing my slightly damp hair back.

            We had just gotten out of the shower and we were both standing in my kitchen: I was backed up to the counter as he stood in front of me.

            “Why so soon?” I asked as feelings hitting me suddenly really hard, “Why are you leaving me already?”

            “Oh, no, no! Jack, I’m just leaving to visit my parent’s.”

            I began to cry and truthfully, I don’t even think _I_ fully knew why other than these new pregnancy hormones.

            He gathered me up in his arms and whispered, “What is going on with you?”

            “I just missed you so much that I don’t want you to leave yet.” I shuddered, “Please don’t leave yet.”

            “I’m not leaving yet, Jack, but Jess is more than likely going to call my parents since I’m not answering her and I need to be over there so we can avoid that situation.” He pulled back slightly, “It’ll just be for a few hours. I promise I’ll be back here before you fall asleep.”

            I sniffled like a little baby and said, “You promise?”

            He nodded and kissed my cheek, “I promise.”

            He let go of me and rubbed my arm.

            I watched as he walked away from me and disappeared into my room. I turned to the side, wiping my eyes on the sleeves of the oversized shirt I had put on.

            Without realizing it, I grabbed a bag of chips from my counter and ventured over to my living room and plopped on the couch. Wrapping one hand around my stomach in a protective manner, I set the bag next to me and grabbed a few as I ate some of the chips.

            Mark came back out in a few minutes wearing his red flannel with an exposed chest and pair of dark jeans. I happened to capture the silver glimmer on his hand and I knew he had put his ring back on. It shouldn’t have upset me but my stomach began to turn and I couldn’t eat anymore. I got up and put them away before feeling Mark’s arms snake around my waist and I instantly wanted to recoil so he didn’t feel my little bump.

            He kissed up and down my neck before sucking slightly on the skin there, leaving another mark.

            I smirked and reached around, grabbing his head and holding it there before he resisted and pulled back, spinning me around in a fluent motion. I smiled at him and he smiled back, “I’ll be back later.”

            “Okay.” I whispered softly.

            He leaned in and kissed me lightly. He backed up and ran his hands up and down my arms, “See you later.”

            He turned around and walked away, opening my door to the apartment and walking out, shutting the door behind him. I felt tears brim my eyes and I said, “I love you,” to an empty apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any kudos and comments are greatly appreciated :)


	6. Chapter 6

While Mark was gone, I took the time to go and pick up my prescriptions. That took me all of ten minutes and I was back to my apartment with barely any time passed. Everything just felt so empty to me and I couldn’t describe why.

            Sitting on my couch and watching an episode of Game of Thrones that I had missed, I decided to research more about carriers while I had a chance. I logged onto the computer and got onto Google, typing in ‘carriers’ in the search bar.

            A lot of results popped up and I clicked on the first link.

            _Carrier- a male who has a genetic mutation called by its scientific name of Masculanus Navitate (Male Birth) which allows for the male to have a fully formed and functioning uterus that is created while they are still in the womb. Although the males will have no signs of such a condition, all males are required to be tested for the trait once they are born. If tested positive, the parents can then decide what they would like to do, some choose to remove the womb and others choose to let their son continue on life normally. Males can also be given birth control to take to reverse conception but that is only allowed to be prescribed by the parents request unless the male is over the age of eighteen. The males can also take Plan B pills if needed to reverse the pregnancy._

I read enough and slammed my laptop screen down.

            Why would my parents have kept that from me?                         

            Mark and I were so sexually active in high school…what would have happened if he knocked me up then? I think at times we weren’t exactly careful. But maybe it was a blessing that it happened now. I can cover this up better and decide more things for myself.

            But that still comes with the idea that _I am_ pregnant. But what if the results were wrong? And when I go to the ultrasound in two weeks, there isn’t anything there. But then again, I am having all of the symptoms and even know, as I sit here and think, there is something nagging in my brain that is telling me I am.

            I’m a frazzled mess.

            And how am I going to tell people?

            Oh, by the way, I’m pregnant with a married man’s child.

            And how was I going to tell Mark?

            Mark was going to be the hardest person because, look at the circumstances! How was he going to react? What about Jess?

            And Lily…oh my god, Mark’s daughter! How the hell was she going to react about getting a little brother or sister by a totally different person but the same dad? She would surely remember me from the park and she would know me as the man who broke up her parents. She would never accept me or my little baby.

            Maybe I could lay under the radar, carry on pregnancy, keep it hidden, give birth, and act like nothing happened. But then of course, people would find out sooner or later.

            Or maybe I’m over thinking this. I’m panicking, becoming paranoid really.

            There shouldn’t be anything to worry about, right? Everything will work out in the end because if it doesn’t, it’s not the end, right?

            Now, who was I going to tell first?

            I was going to tell Emma…yeah, Emma. But I’ll tell her in two weeks after my ultrasound when I’ll know for sure.

            Okay, that got figured out…

            A knock appeared on my door and nearly jumped out of my skin. I swore to myself and got up, setting my laptop on the cushion behind me.

            Opening the door slightly, I saw Emma and Timmy standing there with a bouquet of roses and a bag of take out, “Timmy wanted to give you these to make you feel better and I brought Chinese food because I thought we could eat dinner together.”

            I smiled at such a nice gesture, “Thank you guys so much. I really appreciate it.” I said with a smirk.

            Timmy ran over to me and gave me a hug and I smiled, feeling tears brim my eyes at the kindness of them. A tear spilled out and I wiped it away, Timmy let go and walked back.

            “Come on in.” I said inviting them inside, taking the flowers from Emma and setting the vase of water and flowers on the counter.

            Emma set the food on the counter and I smiled at her, “I got your favorite!” She said with a smile.

            “Sweet and sour chicken?” She nodded and I grinned, “Thank you so much.”

            “No problem, sweetie, how are you feeling?”

            “Better.” I answered hoping to change the conversation fast.

            “What did the doctor tell you that you were so shaken up about?”

            I bit my lip and shrugged.

            “Oh, no, Jack,” She said with a scowl, “You’re telling me right now or…”

            “Timmy needs to leave the room.” I said motioning to him, “I don’t want him to hear.”

            Luckily, Timmy was already preoccupied on my couch and was flipping through the channels on my TV.

            “Fine, we’ll go into your room.” She said with a slight tremble in her voice.

            I led her down the short hallway to my room and pressed the door open, seeing Mark’s clothing and duffel bag still thrown on the side of the bed, “whose stuff is that?” She asked pointing.

            “Not important.” I said quickly.

            I took a deep breath, not knowing where to begin with this. I didn’t want to tell her this early but maybe it’d be better if someone else besides me knew right now. She could help with all of this process.

            Thinking about how to go about with this, I finally decided to push my shirt up and put my hands on my small round bump that was barely visible, “I’m going to be a daddy.”

            Okay, that came out differently than I had imagined but…I said it.

            She squealed and jumped, throwing her arms around me, “Oh my god, Sean!”

            She pulled off and looked at me, “When are you due? How far along? Why didn’t you tell me you were a carrier?”

            “Hold up!” I said with a laugh, “One question at a time. I don’t know my due date yet. I don’t know how far but the doctor thinks ten weeks. I go back in two weeks for an ultrasound. And I didn’t know myself. I was just informed today.”

            She smiled a big grin at me and then her face dropped just as fast, “I don’t mean to be prude but who is the father?”

            “Mark.” I said softly, “The one here this week actually. He’s my married ex that I’ve been seeing.”

            Her mouth fell open, “Sean, no…”

            “Trust me, Emma, I feel the same.” I said softly, my voice filled with emotion, “I can’t tell him.”

            “But he’s going to know, Sean.” She said looking me up and down, “For heaven sakes you’re already showing.”

            “I have to hide it, Emma. I have no choice.”

            “Do you think he’ll understand?” She asked me, “Doesn’t he already have a daughter?”

            “Yeah, and that’s why I’m so paranoid about it. What is she going to think? She’ll have a half-brother from a different parent and the same dad. It’s not fair to her.”

            “No, it’s not fair to her…or Mark’s wife.”

            I sighed and dropped onto the edge of my bed, “Fuck, I forgot about his wife. What the hell is she going to think?”

            “Well, I can guarantee that she won’t be happy.”

            “Obviously!”

            Emma crossed her hands over her chest, “Let’s just go out and eat, we can discuss this later.”

            “Mark will be back later.” I said following Emma out of the room.

            “Maybe I can meet him properly.” She said with a smirk, “It’s not every day that you can meet your best friend’s baby daddy.”

            “Uncle Jack is having a baby!” I stopped dead in my tracks to see little Timmy standing at the end of the hallway with a toy in his hand, smiling a big grin, “I’m going to have a cousin!”

            I smiled, despite wanting to just say no and call it a day but I couldn’t lie to Timmy, “Yes, Timmy, I’m having a baby.”

            He ran over to me and wrapped his arms around me, holding me in a tight hug, “I think I can feel the baby kicking!”

            Emma and I both laughed as I pushed Timmy away, “I doubt that they’re big enough to be kicking already.” I said with a smile.

            “I can’t wait to have a baby of my own one day! I’m gonna be just like you. Mommy said that I’m special because I’m a carrier too.”

            I turned to Emma to see her eyes brimming with tears as she shuddered and wiped her cheeks, “Timmy tested positive for the carrier gene and I told him as soon as he got old enough to understand.”

            I stood there flabbergasted because I really had no words.

            I crossed my arms over my chest and felt my eyes brim with another wash of unshed tears and emotions. Suddenly, I said, “Thank you for telling him so he doesn’t end up like me.”

            Emma looked up at me and we didn’t speak any words to each other.

            We silently moved to the table and began to eat our food that was beginning to cool.

            After dinner, we settled back into our normal routine and were able to watch a hilarious movie on Netflix before Timmy began to tire and Emma told me she needed to get him home. I also agreed with them leaving mostly because I knew that Mark was coming back and I wanted time alone with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any kudos and comments are greatly appreciated :)


	7. Chapter 7

I had fallen asleep on the couch before Mark came home. I was pretty sure I was a sight to be seen because when I was awoken by him, I had an arm hanging off from the side and my head was resting off from the cushions and I was nearly on the floor.

            “I’m sorry to wake you.” Mark said as I pushed myself up and wiped the drool from my face. I sat up with my back against the cushion and turned to him.

            “Don’t—don’t worry about it.” I said running my hand through my messy hair, “I’m tired.” I said as I began to nod off again.

            Mark sat down next to me and wrapped his arm around me, “I would tell you to sleep but I think we need to talk.”

            I opened my eyes and stretched, “What about?”

            “About us…about Jess and Lily.” He said with a shaking voice, “I have some news that I need to tell you.”

            I felt my heartbeat quicken and my face probably fell asleep and he noticed quickly because he began to rub my arm, comforting me, “What’s the news?” I stuttered out.

            “Sean, I didn’t want this to happen…keep that in mind….” He took a deep breath, “Right before I left today, Jess dropped the bombshell that she was pregnant.”

            I lost all sense of control that I could’ve had because here I am, pregnant myself, and I’m listening to Mark say that his wife is pregnant. I began to cry and sob, my head fell own and my shoulders were shaking. He gathered me in his arms and held me, “I didn’t want this to happen and I thought she was joking but now that I look at it, she wasn’t and I don’t know what to do.”

            _Well, you’re going to be even more lost to hear that I’m also having your kid so…_

            “Speak to me…” He pleaded, “Say something.”

            I shook my head as if I was telling him I wasn’t talking and then I fisted his shirt in my hands, grasping for dear life, “If it makes any smidge of a difference,” he began slowly, “I’m still serving her with divorce papers, it just won’t be until after the baby is born.”

            I peeked my head up and moved my hands to his face, holding it still as if I was afraid of his moving and being gone, “Don’t.” I choked out as tears streamed down my face, “Don’t do that. Don’t divorce her after she has your child.”

            “But I don’t love her, Sean.” He said back at me, “I love you.”

            “I love you too but you need to be with her.” I said feeling my own heart breaking at my words. She needed him more than I did, even if we were both having his child, “I don’t want you to do this because of me.”

            “I’m not doing this because of her.” He said moving my hands off from his face and holding them in his own, “I’m doing this for myself.”

            I couldn’t even look at him anymore. I turned my head to the side and felt as the cold tears hit the skin of my leg and made me shutter. He was still holding my hands and was talking to get me to look at him but all I heard was static.

            I wasn’t prepared to have this type of heart break all over again. I hadn’t built myself up for it. I assumed that everything would be okay between us but now I know that it never will. I wouldn’t even be surprised if Jess and I are due around the same time by the sounds of it. We probably got knocked up the same fucking day.

            But what was going to happen now? I wouldn’t let Mark divorce her for me. We could still make something work and…

            “The wheels are turning in your head and I can see the steam pouring from your ears.” He said rubbing my arm, “Stop thinking and look at me.”

            I turned my head and looked at him. He wiped the tears from my cheeks with his thumbs and he settled his hands gently on my jaw, “Sean, I love you.” He emphasized.

            “I know,” I said breathing heavy from the tears, “But you can’t just leave her while she’s pregnant.”

            “Why are you so worried about that?” he asked, “What’s going on?”

            I shook my head, I wasn’t telling him today, “Nothing, okay? I’m just taken aback by the news and I’m tired and cranky and just want to sleep.”

            “Then let’s go.”                                                        

            He picked me up bridal style and carried me to my bedroom, where he set me down ever so lightly and then he laid down next to me. I turned my back to him and I think he got the hint that I wanted to be alone right now because I felt the bed creak as his weight left and the door shut as he walked out to the living room.

            I continued to cry and sob into the pillow for an undetermined amount of time before sleep succumbed me and I finally slept.

            ***

It’s been two weeks since Mark told me that and one week since he’s left for an undetermined amount of time. As much as it hurt, I kept telling him that he shouldn’t leave her and that she’ll need him but I don’t think I got through to him.

            No, I know I didn’t get through to him when we shared another passionate night and he told me that he was going to marry me one day. Then he couldn’t figure out why I was crying following that declaration.

            But today is my first official appointment for the baby and I was really fucking on edge. I mean, you couldn’t tell or anything (total sarcasm by the way). Emma came with me and dropped Timmy off at her parent’s for the morning as we went. I told her that I needed a moral support system and she was more than willing to be that for me.

            I explained to her about Jess and Mark and she tried giving me sympathy but I just shook her off and told her it was going to be okay. She pat my shoulder and told me she hoped I was right.

            And now, here I was sitting on the bed with the doctor standing next to me as she looked over the urine analysis and blood work that I had to go through again, “Well, you’re most certainly pregnant.” Dr. Liendecker said with a smirk, “And by the test, have can determine that you are eleven weeks and 2 days so by terms that means that your unofficial due date is October 7th!”

            I just nodded and didn’t know what to say. Emma grabbed my hand and squealed, “Oh, Jack, this is so exciting! My best friend is having a baby!”

            “Speaking of which,” Dr. Liendecker said, “You wanna go finally see the baby?”

            I nodded my head and smiled down at my stomach, rubbing the very small bump that was there.

            I was taken to another room for the ultrasound and I was told to lie down on the table and lift my shirt up. Emma was standing next to me and for some reason, I grabbed her hand, almost like as a comfort for me.

            I jumped when the cool gel was rubbed on my flesh and then I looked over at Dr. Liendecker as she got ready and smiled at me. I felt her motions on my stomach and I could hear this little thumping next to me and I looked at the screen, “You see where that little star is moving?” She said pointing to the screen.

            I nodded my head, feeling tears brim my eyes, “Yes.”

            “That is your baby’s heartbeat. Right now, the heartrate is 167 which is perfect.” I shut my eyes for a moment to collect my thoughts and take it all in, “Your baby is about the size of a kumquat right now and everything looks like they are very healthy. Keep doing what you are and you will be in for a smooth pregnancy.” I smiled at her, beaming so much that my cheeks hurt, “Now, how many photos would you like?”

            Coming home that day, Emma and I stopped at a cupcake shop on the way through town. I still just couldn’t stop smiling and for once, I was excited to say that I was having a baby. It made me happy.

            Emma ordered a cupcake for herself and one for Timmy but I couldn’t just order one. When I came back to the table with a box of six cupcakes, Emma just laughed at me and held her sides, “Jeez, Jack, you’re going to gain so much weight.”

            I sat down and chuckled at her, “I’m eating for two now.” I whispered, “I think I have an excuse to eat more than one cupcake.”

            I took out a chocolate one with peanut butter frosting and took a bite out of it, relishing in its amazing taste. I moaned out and took another one, “Hungry much?”

            I looked over at Emma and laughed, “I’m never not hungry anymore.”

            She smiled, “Oh, sweetie, I know. I did go through it once you know.”

            We sat at the table and were just enjoying our time of being together. We were laughing and joking around and we probably annoyed a lot of people but it felt so good to just talk to someone after everything that I’ve gone through.

            We were on our way out so Emma could go to work when I spotted them out of the corner of my eye and I nearly fainted. Mark, Jess, and Lily were all walking into the cupcake shop as we were walking out.

            Now, I’m not one to feel jealousy easily or to even remotely be upset by something like that but something in me snapped. I stared at Mark, my mouth gawked open and tears brimming my eyes. Mark stared me, whispered that he loved me, and then placed a hand on her back with the silver ring gleaming in the sunlight.

            Emma pulled back from the store but I fought it. I don’t know why I did but I fought it. I went to run back in there to say something to Mark when Emma grabbed me and yanked me back, “Don’t do something stupid. Let them go.”

            Before the door shut, I heard Lily’s little voice from the inside say, “Daddy, why did you whisper something to that man?”

            My heart stopped for a moment before I heard Mark say, “That man and I are friends, Lily. You’ve met him before, remember?”

            I walked off with Emma before I heard anything else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any kudos and comments are appreciated :)


	8. Chapter 8

At home, I stayed isolated from the world and just lay on the couch with a blanket wrapped around me. Mark had texted me and told me that he never told me about them coming up for the long weekend because Jess was already coming onto him about us. He said he didn’t want us to be known yet and I’m pretty sure I just fucking blew that cover.

            But I also couldn’t stop looking at the sonogram of my baby. I had it held tightly to my chest and I found comfort in knowing that I had another little person to speak to. I mean, I haven’t quite spoken with them yet but Emma told me that I’ll start doing it without realizing it.

            I was tired and falling asleep on and off when I heard knocking on my door and got nervous about it. I stood up and maneuvered my way across the floor, still clutching the photo to my chest as a comfort blanket, and slowly opened the door.

            Mark stood on the other side with his hands behind his back, “What are you doing here?” I asked confused.

            “Jess and Lily are at my parent’s and I told her I was running to the store so I can’t stay quick.”

            “What do you want?” I asked backing up to let him in, unaware of the photo I was still clutching.

            “I thought we could enjoy each other’s pleasure one more time.” He moved in and attacked my lips with his own and I temporarily forgot about everything.

            But then the photo slipped from my arms and landed on the floor. Mark pulled back at the sound of the paper scraping hardwood and we clashed heads as we both bent down to pick it up…except he beat me to it.

            “Mark, no!” I said reaching for it but he already saw it.

            He backed up and his back hit the shut door, “Sean, what the hell is this?” He asked looking it over.

            “I never wanted you to find out this way.” I said feeling tears drop down my chin, “I never wanted you to know.”

            He looked up at me and I saw tears brim his eyes, they looked like glass, “Sean, are you pregnant?”

            I nodded my head and crossed my hands over my stomach protectively as I sobbed. I heard him from my own sobbing and I could tell he was crying too. I looked up and I saw how sad his eyes were and I instinctively walked closer to him and hugged him, “Is it mine?” He asked softly.

            “Yes,” I whispered to him.

            “How far along?”

            “Eleven weeks and 2 days.”

            “When is your due date?” He asked in a whisper that I could barely hear.

            “October 7th.”

            He pulled back and looked at me, his eyes puffy and his cheeks tear stained, “Jess is due the fifth.”

            “So…” I said rocking back on my heels, “It’s going to be interesting because you may be having two children around the same time.”

            “Shit, Jack, how did this even happen?” He asked rubbing his eyes.

            “I’m a carrier and we got ‘carried’ away. I just don’t know what else to explain.” I said, “It’s honestly a fucking miracle that it’s happening now given how much we had sex in high school.”

            He stood there in silence and handed the photo back to me. He wiped his eyes one more time before opening the door and saying, “I need to go.”

            I stood there watching as the door latched shut and there was nothing else said.

            I didn’t even know what to do.                                                        

            So, I did what every pregnant and alone person would do…I called my mother.

            My parents divorced a few years back so it’s just been my mom at my side and I haven’t seen her since her birthday last September. We talk every so often but she’s busy chasing after my younger brother who still lives at home and he takes all of her time away.

            I walked over to my couch, tears casually sliding down my face like a waterfall as I grabbed my phone and dialed my mom. When she answered, I broke ever more and sobbed out, “Mom, I need you.”

            On the other end, I heard my mother tone suddenly change, “Oh, Sean, what happened? Do you need me to make a trip up there tomorrow?”

            My mother lived three hours away from where I did and so it wasn’t too much of a chore to have her come and visit. But that’s not what I wanted. I just wanted to talk.

            “No, don’t do that.” I said through a broken sob, “Mom, I’m pregnant and the baby’s daddy doesn’t want me.”

            Now, I didn’t know if that was true or not because Mark didn’t say anything but from his reaction, I’m sure he didn’t, “Sean, what do you mean you’re pregnant? We had your tubes tied as a baby so you couldn’t ever.”

            “I’m two months pregnant, mom.” I said crying, “And I’m a homewrecker.”

            “Sean,” She said sternly through the phone, “What on Earth are you talking about, being a homewrecker?”

            I took a deep breath to calm my heaving chest, “Mark and I met up a few months ago and he’s married and has a daughter now and we ended up sleeping together without thinking and now I’m pregnant and his wife is also pregnant and it’s a mess.” I said wiping my face, “He found out today and he didn’t take it very well.”

            “Why are you messing around with a married man?” My mother asked, “Good God, Sean, we raised you better!”

            “He told me they were in the process of a divorce but that’s not true when she’s pregnant too.”

            “Listen to me,” she said, “I’m going to come up tomorrow and we’re going to discuss this. It’s very hard to talk over the phone and not face to face on such a matter.” I cried and sniffled a little, “Until then, do not stress yourself out, try to get ahold of Mark again (it doesn’t hurt to), and then get a good night’s rest. I love you.”

            “I love you too.” I choked out before ending the call and laying down on my couch.

            I wasn’t going to try and get ahold of Mark because it wouldn’t pay me to. Instead, I looked at the time and read it was a little after eight and decided it was a good time to head into my bedroom and just try and sleep the night away.

            I fell asleep rather quickly and stayed asleep for a while before I heard footsteps that entered my room. In a daze, I lifted my head up to see a figure looming into my room. I quickly sat up in a panic before I heard a loud BANG followed by cursing like I’d never heard. I quickly turned the light on and looked over at Mark who was laying on the floor, clutching his knee to his chest, “Jesus motherfucking Christ!” He groaned out in pain.

            Being the person that I’ve always been, I found pain to be hilarious when it didn’t happen to me so I began laughing uncontrollably as Mark turned red faced, “Oh, ha ha, keep laughing.” Mark said standing up and walking to the bed.

            “What are you doing here?” I asked groggily, my eyes beginning to shut.

            “I told Jess that I needed some space.” He said climbing into my bed uninvited.

            “What—“

            “I thought about this a lot and,” he turned to me and clutched my hands in his own, “I really want to have this baby with you. It’s been my dream to have a child with you and I’m so happy that it’s finally happening.”

            “What about Jess?” I asked softly.

            “Jess won’t ever know because I’m going to serve her divorce papers by the end of the summer. We sighed a Pre-Nup so she won’t get hardly anything of mine.”

            “That doesn’t matter, Mark.” I said looking at him, “She is your wife and she’s having your child.”

            “You’re having my child too so I hardly think that that is an argument.” He retorted back. I sighed, which sounded more like a groan, and gave up the fight.

            “Are you promising to me that you won’t let me go through this alone?” I asked softly, “I can’t be in this whole thing alone and then at the end, not have anything.”

            He moved his hands up to my face and held it, “I promise you that I will go through this with you, every step of the way.” He smiled at me, “I. Love. You.”

            “I love you too.” I answered back right before I was pushed on my back with Mark’s body covering my own.

            ***

            “What do you mean when you said that you told Jess you needed some space?” I asked as I laid on his chest, our naked bodies covered with a sheen of sweat over the amazing moment we had just had.

            His fingers were playing with my hair and it was making me sleepy, even more so than I already was, “I told her that I was staying with a friend for a while until I got my feelings sorted out.”

            “What about Lily?” I asked into his skin, pressing a light kiss to his chest.

            “I told her that daddy was going away for a while and she didn’t understand back I’m sure Jess will say something to her.” He said with a sigh.

            “How do you think she’s going to react when she finds out that she’s getting two little siblings?”

            “I don’t know.” He said with a deep exhale, “I actually don’t think we should tell her. We should just tell her that the baby is yours but not mine as well. It will save her the confusion.”

            “What about when I actually become her second father?” I asked, quickly biting my tongue as I thought of the possibility of the future.

            “We’ll go with it as it comes.” He said with a smirk, stepping forward and pecking my lips.

            I knew that he was making it sound easy but I knew it was anywhere from easy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any kudos and comments are greatly appreciated :)


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the chapter where I began marking how far along Jack is. it is also the chapter that the plot begins to take off and start going by quicker. I'm only doing this because this is already so long and it'll be like 100 chapters and i don't want to do that. I'm not sure how many chapters this will be yet though but it's going to be a ride :)

When my mother showed up, it was anything but calm. Mark was in my living room eating lunch while I was in the shower when my mother arrived and Mark was in for a surprise when he opened the door.

            Just like I was when I walked out in Mark’s baggy shirt in a pair of boxer briefs to my mom sitting with her right leg crossed over the other as she and Mark sat silently at the kitchen table, “Oh, mom, you’re here.”

            “Yes, Sean, I remember you calling me yesterday all distraught but it appears that everything is pretty okay around here now.”

            Mark suddenly got up and grabbed his jacket from the back of the chair, “And I suddenly remembered that it is my mother’s birthday and I need to go see her. I’ll be back later.” He walked over and pressed a kiss to my cheek as his other hand pressed against my swollen abdomen in a loving gesture.

            After he left and walked out, I quickly ran back to my bedroom to throw on a pair of sweatpants before I walked back out to face my mother. Her one eyebrow was cocked up, “I thought you said—“

            “He came over last night and told he needed a place to stay so I’m letting him stay.” I said softly.

            “Come here, sit.” She said pushing the chair in front of her out with her foot.

            I obeyed and took a seat.

            Thinking back to the conversation we had yesterday, I finally said, “Why didn’t you ever tell me I was a carrier?”

            “Because your father and I made a collective decision to get your tubes tied when you were a baby and we figured nothing would ever happen. Must be the doctor didn’t do it right.”

            “But that still doesn’t mean anything. You _never_ told me!” I said angrily, “It doesn’t matter if—you got my tubes tied without ever asking my permission?”

            “You were just a baby and your father and I always knew that we would make the right decision.”

            “But that’s my body…” I said, my voice faltering, “You altered my body without me ever knowing.”

            She looked at me very seriously, “We thought it would be the right choice because we knew you were going to be different and we didn’t want you to grow up and be picked on.”

            “So you altered my body.” I repeated.

            “Don’t think of it like that.” She said harshly.

            “But that is exactly what you did.” I said standing up, “You tried to change me but it clearly never worked.”

            “Sean, sit down and just calm down some.”

            “No!” I said in a half shout, “I will not calm down when I just found out that my parent’s tried to take away my body’s function.”

            “No male should be having a child, it’s _unnatural_!” She shouted back.

            “You’re unnatural for wanting to change your child into something other than what he was born. I think I could have made that decision on my own because now I’m faced with the consequences.” I took a stuttered breath and sat back down, “I think you should leave.”

            “Sean…”

            “No, mom, just leave.” I said getting up and walking over the door.

            “Are you not even going to tell me when you’re due or how far along you are?”

            I rolled my eyes and said, “Three months and October. There, now leave.”

            She got up reluctantly and walked over to the door. She opened it up and turned around, “I hope you remain in touch.”

            I just smirked sarcastically and said, “I’ll let you know when my child graduates from high school.”

            She scoffed and walked out of my apartment without another word added.

            When she left, I turned around and pressed my back to the door, my mind fluttering with so many thoughts that it began to pulse. It was way too much to process as tears slowly trickled down my cheek.

            ***

**12 weeks and 3 days**

            It’s been a week now since my mother’s visit and Mark left two days ago. Apparently, 'taking time away from Jess' meant stayed with me for three days and then leaving so he could return to his job. But before he left, he told me more about himself that I hadn’t realized. He works as civil engineer manager in a big corporation in the city about five hours from where I, we used to, live. He showed me photos of their house and I would totally be lying if I said that I didn’t feel a pang of jealousy. Their house was a big two story colonial type with five bedrooms and here I am, in a little one bedroom apartment that I pay $600 a month for.

            Compared to them…I was nothing.

            He even went on to explain how Jess was being promoted to CEO of this giant company and how Lily was going to a private school and she was insanely smart and I won’t lie to say that I cried when he told me the part about Lily.

            I’m going to try my hardest to give our child the best life I can but I’m only one person and I don’t know if I can count on Mark to be there for me. I have Emma and I’m sure I’ll have Felix once I tell him.

            I was struggling right now pretty hard. I was behind on rent for a month and I was in a financially unstable place in my life. I hadn’t worked much because of my pregnancy so I wasn’t able to get big enough paychecks to cover the $1,200 that I owed and I was panicking.

            I brought up to Mark about my issues as someone to confide in and he seemed to be really sure of me and that I was going to pull through. Then this morning, I received a check in the mail of $5,000 that read it was from Mark with a note that read, _this should cover the next few months and some other costs that you were worrying about. –Mark._

I wasn’t going to accept it, I was going to call him and rip the check into little pieces. I don’t take money from anyone. I’m not that type of person at all. So I called him anyway to tell him this.

            “Hello?” He answered on the forth ring.

            “Mark, I can’t accept that check.”

            I could practically hear his smirk on the other end, “Don’t worry about it, Jack. It’s a donation from me to you. It’s the least I can do after I already put you into a financial burden.”

            I rolled my eyes and felt like I was going to cry, “I can’t accept it though.” My voice broke as I spoke.

            “Baby, yes you can.” He said, “Don’t worry about it.” He paused before speaking again, “Promise me that you will go to the bank right after we get off the line and that you will deposit that check and cash out $1,200 to pay your rent.”

            “Mark…”

            “If you say that you can’t accept it one more time, I might actually considering taking it back.” He said with a sigh.

            “…Thank you.” I said as I began to cry, “I really appreciate your help.”

            “You’ll always have my help, Jack. You’ll never be alone in this.” I smiled through the tears and wiped my cheeks furiously at my ability to cry so easily nowadays, “I love you.”

            “I love you too.”

            “I’m about to drop Lily off at her dance class so I’ll talk to you later.”

            “Okay, bye.” I responded right before I heard the click and the line went dead.

            I picked the check up and read it over again before sitting down on my couch, completely and utterly in shock.

            ***

**17 weeks 1 day**

            It’s now been a month since Mark had given me the money to pay rent and I have used the rest of the money to pay off rent for the next eight months which worked out great because I needed to make sure I had a stable home to bring the baby into.

            Speaking of the baby, I find out the sex today and I’ve never been more excited in my life! Emma had to work and didn’t want to take the day off so it’s just me going to find out the sex. She told me that based on my bump, and how I was gaining weight, she predicted it was going to be a boy but I couldn’t be so sure. I’ve been having dreams lately about the child and what they will look like when they grow up and…I’m not getting much more into that.

            Waiting in the waiting room, I could tell that I was gleaming with pride. All last night, I kept a smile on my face at the anticipation of today. Emma told me that once we find out the sex, she’s going to take me shopping to get the essentials. She even offered me Timmy’s old crib but I told her to keep it in case she decided to have another child. She just laughed and scoffed at me.

            When they called my name, I was sure that I practically skipped to the nurse as I walked through the doorway. I was taken directly to the ultrasound room where Dr. Liendecker was waiting with her chart.

            “You look excited.” She said with a smile.

            “I get to find out what I’m having!” I said with a beaming smile, “Of course I’m excited!”

            She pat the exam table and I sat down on it. Lifting my shirt, I took note of how perfect my little baby bump looked. It was definitely there now and I have found myself rubbing it and talking to it every night when I’m alone.

            Mark even had me hold the phone to my belly as he spoke to it. I didn’t hear what he said but I was sure it was all amazing things.

            Did I mention how amazing I felt today? Because I feel phenomenal!  
            She got the machine ready and applied the cool gel to my stomach before starting.

            Looking at the screen as she began, she said, “Oh, how perfect! The baby isn’t moving much, we can clearly see what the sex is!”

            I smiled and nearly cried, “What is it?”

            Later that night, I called Mark on the phone with a beaming smile. When he picked up, the first thing I said was, “Mark, it’s a…”

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any kudos and comments are appreciated :)


	10. Chapter 10

“Mark, it’s a boy!” I screamed into the phone.

I heard his breathing catch and he said, “You’re having a boy?”

“Yes, and he’s so perfect Mark!” I said lovingly as I looked at his ultrasound photo, “He’s about 4 and a half inches long and God, Mark, I’m so in love already!”

“So, it’s definitely a boy?”

“Yes, Mark, I already said that.” I said confused.

“Um…well, Jess is also having a boy.” He said with an uneasy laugh, “Guess my body only wanted me to produce boys.”

My expression fell because for these past few weeks, I’ve only thought of myself and Mark and I honestly didn’t even remember Jess. This hurt really badly. My heart felt like it split in two and I began to cry on the phone, “Oh, Jack, no. Please don’t cry baby!”

“Mark, what are we going to do?” I cried.

“I don’t know yet, baby, but we’ll get it figured out.”

His words rang through my head for the rest of the day.

I told Emma that I was having a boy and she danced around me, squealing that she called it. We were both ecstatic and neither one of us thought about anything else during that time.

It was going for six when I got a text from Felix saying that him and his girlfriend, Marzia, were having a barbeque and he was wondering if I wanted to go. I decided that now would be as good of a time as any to tell them.

I wore the baggiest sweatshirt that I could find and a pair of jeans that were honestly really fucking tight but I didn’t have much of a choice and I wasn’t buying ‘pregnancy jeans’. Driving myself over, taking note that my stomach kind of got in the way, I eventually got to Felix’s house just outside of town and parked my car on the street next to the few others cars there.

There were a lot more people here than I had anticipated and it was making me nervous. Maybe this wasn’t such a good time to tell them after all.

I walked inside and found Felix sitting outside on his balcony along with a group of others, the only other person I recognized was Marzia: who looked gorgeous as ever. I was greeted by Felix who gave me a half hung and then thrusted a beer into my open palm. Feeling myself sweat, I handed it back, “I’m not drinking right now, buddy.” I said nervously.

“Pssht, no big deal man, no big deal. We have soda over here for the non-alcoholics of the crowd.” He directed me to a cooler that was filled with soda and I pulled out a Coke from the ice and water.

Turning back around and sitting next to Felix, he put his arm around my shoulders, and said, “Jack, these are my buddies from work Cry and Ken. The girl sitting next to Ken is his girlfriend Mary.” I waved to them and then twisted the top off from my body, taking a sip of the cool drink.

“So, how has life been treating you?” Felix asked patting my shoulder, “Haven’t heard much from you these past few months.”

“I’ve been busy.” I said, “Work and such has been taking a toll on me.”

Felix scoffed, “Same man, like, I’ve been working for this company and it’s been so fucking hard for me lately. So much work and so little time to do it. It’s becoming tedious.”

Marzia interjected by saying, “But, you always talk about how much you love it so it can’t be that bad.”

Felix smiled at his girlfriend, “That’s true. I do love it there.” He turned to me, “I could try getting you a job there if you wanted. You’d be making a lot more than that petty job you’re doing now.”

I shrugged, “I like my job and I have a sense of security with it. I get full benefits so it all works out.”

He nodded and then turned to Ken and Cry and we all began a group conversation.

Somewhere between the time that we began and now, we had gotten on the subject of relationships and it was very awkward for me to listen to them and how they all had great relationships and here I was, not even being able to describe my own. Then, they suddenly mentioned Mark.

Now, Felix and I knew each other in high school and he used to be best friends with Mark but as far as I knew, they never talked much anymore. But apparently they had other connections.

“Yeah, Jess Fishbach is my boss,” Felix said running his hand through his hair, “Did you know that her and Mark are expecting again? God, that doesn’t seem likely.”

I twisted my head to him and said, “Why wouldn’t that be? They’re married.”

“Yeah, but her and Mark don’t even live together anymore. Or that’s at least the impression I’ve gotten over these past few months. Mark came into the company about a week ago and practically begged her to let him move back in and I was shocked when she fell for it.”

I felt my eyes widen, “Wait, what?”

“Yeah, man,” Felix said taking a sip of his beer, “Mark ran inside with a big ass bouquet of flowers and he practically told her that he never wanted to be without her. It was this like big fucking deal at the office. He got down on one knee and everything. I couldn’t believe it.”

My eyes began to water and my chest tightened like I was beginning a panic attack. I hadn’t had one in so long that it felt almost foreign to me. And there was no way this was healthy for the baby.

“Jack, you don’t look okay?” Felix said reaching his hand out to my arm. When he touched my skin, I jerked away and nearly fell off from the seat I was sitting.

Embarrassed, I suddenly stood up and excused myself from the group as tears threatened to fall. I went inside and stopped in the living room as my heart beat through my sweatshirt. I fell to the floor and pulled my knees as close as I could to my chest as I began to sob. I heard the door from the porch open but I didn’t look up to see who came inside to check on me.

I suddenly felt a small hand rub my shoulder and I looked up to see Marzia sitting on her knees next to me, “Is everything okay?”

I shook my head, but not wanting to explain, “No, but I—“

“You know you can tell me anything,” She said in her soft, fragile voice, “I won’t even tell Felix.”

I turned to her and said, “I’ve been having an affair with Mark.” I said softly.

I heard and audible gasp before she spoke again, “But that’s not all is it?”

I shook my head, “No, but he’s promised me so much so having Felix say what he did just hurt me so badly.”

“I’m sorry,” She said, “I can tell him to stop talking about them.”

“No, there’s no need.”

“Do you want some time alone?” She asked, beginning to get up.

“I think I’ll actually get going.” I said standing up, “Tell Felix that I wasn’t feeling good and so I went home. I’ll try and get ahold of you guys soon.”

When she was out of the room, I got up and left without another word.

***

**20 Weeks and 4 days**

            Our bodies were entwined and our breathing heavy. Mark’s hands were gripping my hips and digging into my skin as he thrusted into me. The feeling of him was pure bliss and my hormones were loving it. Our lips meddled against each other before I breathed out a moan of, “Mark!” and felt myself come undone next to him.

            Entwining my hand into his hair, I kissed him once more before he pulled out and I felt a little bit of his pleasure drip out from me. I winced and he laughed, “It’s been so long that there was so much that I needed to release.”

            I smiled, “I’m more than okay with that.” I breathed out.

            We kissed once more, much more lazily than any other time, and just fell against each other. I let my hand fall to his chest and his hand went onto my stomach, rubbing ever so gently.

            And then it happened, these little tiny flutters that felt like bubbles against my skin. I gasped out and laid my hand over top of Mark’s flat, “Did you feel that?” I asked.

            He looked down at me and shuck his head. Then they happened again and this time they were stronger and I knew what they were. The baby was kicking!

            “Mark, the baby is kicking!”

            He sucked in a breath and ran his hand over my hot skin, and the baby kicked again at the touch, “Oh my God, Jack!” He said, suddenly moving and gathering me into an embrace that was so close. I felt tears prick my eyes and I felt his hands in my hair as he held me to him, “I’ve never been happier to feel a baby’s kick.”

            “Me either.” I said into his skin, not sure how to react.

            Mark was only up for the weekend and it was the first time that he has been up in two months. I’m not five months pregnant which is really hard to believe because I’m halfway through the pregnancy already! It’s such a hard thing to believe and I was beginning to feel the strain of it.

            I’ve gained twenty three pounds and my back is beginning to hurt more. I’m also finding it very hard to wear clothing and so Mark brought up some of his older shirts that don’t fit him anymore so I could wear them. They were slightly big but they were comfy to me because they smelled like Mark. It’s also very hard for me to hide my pregnancy anymore. Emma, my mother, and Mark are the only ones to know and I don’t plan on telling others right now. I thought about telling Felix but then I remembered how Jess was his boss.

            Speaking of which, Mark didn’t mention Jess at all during this whole time that he’s been here and I’ve never been happier. I hated when he mentioned her and I know that I have no reason to hate her in herself but I can’t help it. To me, I want nothing to do with her ever. I never plan on even talking to her.

            As I droned away from my thoughts, I felt Mark’s hand rub my arm lovingly, “Do you remember how we used to always sleep like this when we lived together?” he asked, “And how we’d have to move quickly as soon as my parent’s sounded like they were coming.”

            “And how your parent’s never knew about so they could have been literally standing outside of the door and you still managed to seduce me enough to fuck under the covers.”

            “And how I gave you that promise ring.”

            I felt my breathing falter and I paused, not wanting to think about that the moment.

            “Yeah, that…” I said softly.

            “Do you still have it?” He asked.

            I nodded against him, “It’s in the box over on my dresser.”

            Everything was silent for a moment and then he said,

            “Can you maybe start wearing it again?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any and all kudos and comments are appreciated :)


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, you guys get to find out the name! How excited are you? :) And don't mind my expensive taste XD

21 Weeks and 1 day

            I was keeping myself preoccupied in the store by working the cash register and cleaning around as Emma went into the back with the owner to clear up stock lists. Mark was beginning to come up to my apartment every weekend and when I asked him if Jess was getting suspicious about it, he never gave me a full answer. He didn’t show up this weekend though and I was actually kind of glad because I needed to go out and buy the baby’s crib and everything and I feel like he would just be in the way.

            Both Emma and I get off the clock at one today so we’re going right from work to the mall about an hour outside of town to buy baby supplies. I’ve over halfway now and she said that time will fly by really fast and if I don’t start now, I never will.

            She also insisted that I have a baby shower but let’s be honest, I _really_ don’t want one. I also don’t think I have enough friends to have one but if she’s insisting, I probably will have one.

            I was knocked from my thoughts when the bell rang over the door and I looked up to see a woman in baggy clothing and her hair thrown into a messy bun upon her head walk in. I didn’t recognize her at first so I went back to absentmindedly flicking through a magazine that was just sitting there.

            I didn’t notice the woman had walked up to me until I heard a clearing of her throat and I looked up, “I’m sorry, ma’am, is there something you need help finding?”

            She looked me up and down and then whispered, “You’re wearing Mark’s shirt…”

            I knew then who she was and I immediately stood up from my stool, “Oh, no, you’re mistaken. I don’t know a—“

            “You don’t have to lie, you know.” Jess said to me, “I know that he’s been seeing you behind my back.” She looked down at my hand and saw the silver band glimmering on my left hand, “Did he give you that?” She asked pointing.

            I quickly went to cover my hand but I knew it was too late, “When we were like eighteen.” I said cocking an eyebrow, “It wasn’t recently.”

            “Do you have a minute?” She asked softly, “I really need to speak with you.”

            The thing was, she didn’t sound upset. She didn’t even sound angry. She just sounded distressed and I didn’t know quite how to react but I decided to call for Emma and have her take my spot while I took a break.

            Walking around the counter, I felt the baby kick a few times and I instantly stopped and pushed my hand on my engorged abdomen, sucking in a breath on contentment. I was loving these little indications that my baby boy was still there.

            I followed her quickly outside and we took a seat at one of the tables away from the other people. I began to sweat through the shirt and I was sure it was showing but I couldn’t help it. Being pregnant sucked when it comes to the weather.

            “Listen, I’m not going to be that person who tells you that you need to leave Mark alone but I’m going to heavily imply it.” She began, folding her hands on the table, “You may be sleeping with Mark but at the end of the day, he is coming home to me.”

            I scoffed, “That’s not what I heard.” I said, “He doesn’t even live with you.”

            Her eyes widened and her face turned red, “That’s not important. I know that you guys have a past and I’m not stupid. I can see how he looks at you and how you look at him, But…” She said gritting her teeth, “I’m pregnant with his child.”

            Now, normally I would have been the type to just let her go and let this all go but my hormones and emotions were all out of whack and so I got up, flattened the shirt against my bump and said, “Yeah, and so am I.”

            She stood up and said, “That is a lie!”

            “I think we’re done here.” I said pushing my chair in and beginning to walk away. Feeling my anger kick in, I turned my head and quickly spat at her, “You may think your husband wants you when he’s fucking me every night.”

            I winked at her and walked into the store, smiling to myself at how I handled that. I think I did really well!  
            Emma and I got off from work at one like we were supposed to and we headed off to the mall. When I was a teenager, the mall was a place that I spent most of my time at. I worked at a mall and I practically lived at a mall. It was just how it always was. So going back here, I felt a sense of nostalgia.

            I walked inside of the mall with Emma and we headed to the furniture place that sold baby cribs and changing tables. Walking inside, I felt slightly out of place until saw another guy who was very clearly pregnant, looking at a crib as well. I smiled and felt my heart soar: it was then that I didn’t feel alone.

            Walking into the aisle that was filled with cribs, I walked down and observed all of them, instantly falling for a [dark brown wood](http://www.wayfair.com/Arlington-Convertible-Crib-with-Mattress-04550-01-GR2268.html) crib that looked just simply stunning compared to the others. Grabbing the price tag, I read it over and smiled. I could actually afford a crib that I wanted! And on the tag, it read that it converted to a double bed, which is like killing two birds with one stone.

            “Ooh!” Emma said pointing, “I like that one. Grab the tag and hang on to it so we can pick it up on the way out.”

            I pulled out a little tag from the plastic holder and walked away. We went over to the changing tables and I [found one that matched with the crib](http://www.wayfair.com/Delta-Children-Wilmington-Changing-Table-7530-DEL1742.html) and I was beginning to get really excited. We then got a tag for a crib mattress and walked up to the register to purchase it.

            They told us that I could take it home today but they also did delivery for a small fee when I would want it so I had them sign my things up for delivery in a month.

            Walking out of the furniture store, we decided to head to the next to buy crib bedding and some other little details. I already decided that the crib and changing table would have to go in my room until I could afford a bigger place so I didn’t need to worry about buying a lot of furniture to fill the room.

            Emma and I both joked and laughed about some of the cheesy bedding that they had but then I fell in love with the cutest bedding ever! Now, I hadn’t really thought of a theme prior to this but after falling in love with the idea of animals, I decided to do [an elephant theme](http://www.wayfair.com/Elephants-Blue-Grey-10-Piece-Crib-Bedding-Set-Bumperfree-EBG10CSN-BCA1947.html). Emma said she did a natural theme with Timmy too and that it was really easy to always find nice stuff. Luckily, I found a really nice ten piece set that came with everything and I was pretty much set from there.

            After leaving the store, I got the craving for frozen yogurt so I begged Emma to take me to a frozen yogurt place, “I’ll just take a second in there!” I pleaded with her.

            “Jack, it’s three in the afternoon. Do you really need frozen yogurt?”

            I nodded my head frantically like a little child. She caved and I smiled happily as we pulled into the parking lot.

            Twenty minutes and $15 later, I walked out happily eating my giant bowl of happiness as I settled back into her car and prepared for the ride home.

            That night, I went to sleep early and found myself tossing and turning in bed. But I also had my first vivid dream.

            _I was in the park where Mark and I had reunited, sitting with a baby cradled to my chest and a soft cooing was music to my ears. Mark was playing on the playground with Lily who was all smiles and they both seemed to be enjoying everything so much. This was how I wanted life to be…this was how it was supposed to be. I looked down at the baby who had eyes just as clear as an ocean with dark hair just like his father. I smiled so happily and whispered his…_

Snapping up in my bed, with a big smile on my face, I said, “Hayden Lawrence.”

            That was going to be our son’s name.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any and all kudos and comments are appreciated!


	12. Chapter 12

**24 Weeks and 3 Days**

            Every day this pregnancy gets harder and harder to put up with. My back is killing me, I can’t bend over to tie my own shoes, I’m having issues getting up from bed, my belly button also popped which was weird to see, and my hair has become so thick it’s hard to put my fingers through the coarse strands.

            I’m also fucking huge which is making me really self-conscious. I’m hormonal and emotional as all hell and this doesn’t help. Just the other day, Mark went and picked me up Burger King because I was craving it and then he made the mistake of telling me that I was ‘gaining a lot of weight’ and proceeded to cry as I stuffed my face with fries. This is what my life has come to.

            My crib and all of the supplies came last week and Mark helped me set everything up and it looks perfect! Everything just worked so well and we’re beginning to get ready for little Hayden.

            Speaking of Hayden, he likes to think that my bladder is a trampoline and my ribs are a punching bag because I have to pee every ten minutes and I will get pains in my ribs from him. He’s also constantly turning and Mark and I have gotten used to watching my stomach just start to move randomly from him.

            Mark also gave me a gift of a car seat for Hayden that was a forever car seat so it would last him for a while. This is all falling into place.

            Did I also mention that Mark moved in with me last weekend? Because he did. He told me that he’s going back to his town on the weekends to see Lily—it’s only right—but he wants nothing to do with Jess. He wouldn’t tell me why but I think I have an idea that it was because of my encounter with her.

            When I asked him about his job though, he told me he lost his jobs months ago but kept up appearances that he was still working. As for what happened with what Felix told me, I didn’t question him about it. I was just happy Mark was with me.

            But then there also came the whole idea of Jess. All of this didn’t escape the fact that Jess was still having Mark’s child. Mark and I haven’t even talked about what was going to happen with that and I really do believe that this was because we just wanted to put it behind us. But it is always in the back of my mind.

            Honestly though, everything is just working out right now and that’s all I could have asked for.

***

**27 weeks and 5 days**

 

All has been quiet around here. Mark and I have just been enjoying each-others company and we are loving spending every day together. And it feels like how it should have been all along. Actually, I’ve been having a lot of nostalgia memories happen lately. At night, when we’re lying in bed together, I begin to think about how we used to sleep together at his house and it was always the best feeling ever to be protected by him. This is no different.

Hayden has been kicking up a storm lately and it’s gotten to be something that I’m very much accustomed to. I went to the doctor last week and they told me he was as big as a head of cauliflower and that was hard for me to imagine but he’s getting so big. They said he weighed a little over two pounds and he’s growing healthily.

But my sleeping has gotten terrible. I toss and turn all night and find myself just sitting up on the side of the bed with my legs swinging because my legs are cramping all the time. I’ve also noticed that my veins are a lot more prominent in my feet and my ankles are swelling all the time. They told me that it’s normal but it’s annoying.

I also take that time to talk to Hayden. I find comfort in rubbing my stomach as he’s flipping or kicking or doing whatever gymnastics move he is performing. I like to tell him stories about myself and I like to tell him about Mark. If I really can’t sleep, I’ll get up and read him a story from my phone. I already feel like I’m turning into a great dad.

Today, though, I was at work while Mark went back to the city to visit Lily for the weekend. He’s trying to stay as much in touch with her as possible so he’s not being cut totally from her life.

He also told me that he saw Jess on his last visit there and she’s just about as pregnant as me. And that honestly didn’t make me feel okay because I wanted this whole thing to be a hoax with her. But it didn’t look that way.

I was ripped from my thoughts by Emma calling my name, “Jack, sweetie, if you’re able to waddle over here, can you bring me the price gun? I forgot in on the counter.”

I slowly stood up and took a deep breath. Even simple things like standing up from a chair can kill me. I instinctively put my hands on my back to steady myself and grabbed the gun from the counter.

Walking—or more like waddling—I made my way over to Emma who was standing in the aisle of books. I was almost there when I felt an uncomfortable sensation overwhelm me. I instantly wrapped my arms around my stomach and felt Hayden kicking up a storm, “Jack, are you okay?” Emma asked looking at me with a face of concern.

I nodded my head and took a drawn out breath, “Yeah, I think so.” I continued walking and handed her the gun.

She thanked me and as I was about to walk away, I felt the slight feeling again, “Em,” I said suddenly, “Is it normal to feel slight boughs of like uncomfortable….pain?”

She cocked her head and then smiled slightly, “They’re probably Braxton-Hicks contractions. They’re nothing. When you get off work, go home and take a warm bath. It’ll help.”

I began to worry, “What are those?” I asked rubbing my belly.

“It’s false labor contractions. They’re very common and really don’t mean anything. Just—don’t stress about it and go sit down.”

I nodded my head and waddled back to the chair, sitting down and rubbing my stomach, feeling Hayden kicking at my hands, “What are you doing in there, Hayden?” I asked softly, “You’re going to be so active, just like your daddy Mark. Did you know your daddy Mark was the quarterback of the football team and a star track and field runner? He was very athletic. You’ll get that from him.”

I got the overwhelming sensation that someone was looking over me and I looked up to see Emma staring at me with tears in her eyes. I smiled a big grin at her and went back to looking at my stomach.

            Going home later that day, I drew myself a warm bath. I haven’t taken a bath in so long that I had forgotten how relaxing they were. Normally I only had time for showers but this…this was exactly what I needed.

            Getting into the warm water, I felt all my stress just melt away. I took a deep sigh of relief and smiled to myself. This was exactly what I needed. Looking down, I noticed that I couldn’t even see my—you know—anymore because my stomach was positioned so high.

            But yet, my hormones are through the roof and Mark and I haven’t been intimate because of my back pain and uncomfortable nature. He doesn’t want to hurt me.

            But I am really _fucking_ horny.

            Just from sitting here, I had already felt myself rise to full attention underneath my stomach. I reached around and grabbed the shaft of my penis, letting my hand try and give it full attention.

            I knew that it wasn’t going to be much by just using my hand but it was all I had right now.

            Breathing hard, I was reaching the end fast just from the constant up and down movements. My stomach began to feel warm and a knot formed and I knew it was coming as I felt the warm sensation spread onto my skin. I leaned back, relaxing myself.

            I really needed a nap now.

***

**30 weeks**

            I was sitting in the doctor’s office waiting for my name to be called. I’m on the home stretch now and it’s all been going so well for me. Mark has been helping so much and I couldn’t have asked for a better guy to be there for me.

            Mark has been helping me up when I can’t stand, making sure I’m relaxed at all times, and he’s just been great all around. I’ve found that I’m a lot clumsier when I walk. I tend to trip over air. I also have been exhausted lately and I can fall asleep almost anywhere. I have two more weeks of work left before the doctor wants to pull me out so I’m just waiting out the days.

            Mark was holding my hand as we were waiting for Dr. Liendecker to enter the room. They wanted to go right into an ultrasound so that is what we’re doing.

            The door suddenly opened and Dr. Liendecker walked inside, “Hello, guys, how are you feeling?”

            “Great, amazing.” I said with a smile on my face.

            Mark rolled his eyes, “He yelled at me this morning because I was using the wrong spoon for cereal.”

            Dr. Liendecker just laughed and then fell silent again, “Well, let’s see how well baby Hayden is doing!”

            She walked over to the machine and Mark moved out of the way. She prepared the gel and applied it to my enormous stomach and I felt baby Hayden kick at the touch, “He’s very active.” She said with a smile.

            “I know, I love it.” I answered with a bright smile.

            She began the ultrasound and I looked over at the screen and saw the profile of our baby boy so clearly, “He is about 16 inches long right now and probably weighs around 4 pounds. He looks very healthy and he’s moving a lot.” Suddenly, a little arm stuck up on the screen and Dr. Liendecker laughed, “Hayden is waving to his daddies.”

            I looked over at Mark to see his reaction and I was surprised to see that he was tearing up but holding it back, “Mark, are you okay?” I asked reaching out for him.

            He nodded his hand and walked closer to me.

Softly, he said to me,

            “I’ve never been more in love.”

            I intertwined our fingers and held his hand in my own, feeling the love pour out from both of us.

            Mark drove us back to our apartment and helped me out of the car. My shirts were way too small so I’ve been borrowing Mark’s and even then they’re getting tight as well. I pulled my shirt down as the bottom of my belly hung out slightly and then walked hand in hand with Mark to the front of our apartment.

            Walking up to the front door, I went to open in when I heard steps behind us. Mark and I turned around quickly to see Jess standing there with Lily holding onto her, “You see that Lily, this is why your father hasn’t been home. He’s been dating a homewrecker.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any comments and kudos are greatly appreciated. :)


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't wait to post the next chapter so here it is!

            Inside the apartment, it was utter chaos. People talking over each other. Mark shouting and Jess shouting back. Lily sat in the middle crying hysterically and all the while, I’m trying to get in the middle of them by yelling at them both to separate.

            “You’re ruining this family!” Jess yelled at Mark and somehow, before she was done, Mark had spat back,

            “You ruined it years ago!”

            And then there was incoherent yelling and finger pointing and soon, I was sitting on the couch next to Lily, wrapping her in my own arms as if to protect her from all of this. She didn’t deserve any of this to happen to her.

            She wrapped her lithe arms around me and held tightly as she cried and I began to cry as well, from a combination of overwhelming feelings and hormones. My parenting instincts began to kick in and I grabbed Lily, as best I could with a two foot (not literally but it felt like it) stomach jutting out from my front, and quickly moved her close to them, “Look what you are doing to her.” I said with a choked voice, “You are scaring your own daughter. You’re supposed to be her parent’s and neither one of you can stop yelling at the other long enough to know your daughter is in pain.”

            Mark looked at me in a lot more sympathetic manner than Jess had and he instantly stepped up to us. I nudged Lily to go to him but she wouldn’t, she stayed attached to me, “You see what you’ve done!” Jess said to Mark harshly, “You’ve pushed your own daughter to hang onto your whore!”

            I felt myself stiffen and tense and I was pretty sure that my dam broke at that point. I pushed Lily off from me in a gentle manner and stepped up, getting into her face, “I’m the whore?” I asked with a tear sliding down my cheek, “I was with Mark for three years, almost four. We were going to be married, we were high school sweethearts. I lived with him for two years. I was only ever faithful to him. I only committed myself to him, and no one else. I’ve only ever been with him. I’ve never had a steady relationship since. He’s the only man I’ll ever love and want to be with. And you took that from me when I was nineteen. Mark broke up with me because he cheated on me with _you_ so you have no reason to be upset with the fact that he’s going back to me now. You took me away from him…from the love of my life.” I said feeling my voice begin to choke up, “You can do whatever you feel like doing but you’re the monster. You’re the problem, not me. At the end of the day, I’m having his child. I know that for a fact because he’s the only guy I’ve slept with in the past four years. And maybe I’m wrong, but who knows if you can speak the same.”

            She looked at me speechless and I wasn’t even sure if what I said even made sense or sounded right but it was pure and raw emotion. I felt myself break as I sobbed into my hands as I processed my words and I felt arms wrap around me: one strong and protecting and the other small and weaker. I opened my eyes and looked down to see Lily hugging my midsection and I knew the other arms were Marks.

            “So what happens from here?” Jess asked breaking up the moment.

            I felt a pair of arms leave me and I opened my eyes, taking in the blurry sights and looking at Jess just to see Mark still standing next to me, “I think we’re done.” Mark said to her with a slight raise in voice, “I’m contacting a lawyer and you’ll get divorce papers from me. I can’t be with you.”

            “And what about Lily?” Jess asked choking up.

            “I will fight until my lives end to get some custody over her so you better be prepared for a battle.” Mark said crossing his arms over his chest.

            Everything was silent for a moment and then Jess grabbed Lily from me and stormed away.

            As she opened the door, she turned around and pushed Lily through the opening before saying, “Lily isn’t your child so your custody battle will never go through.”

            Then the door shut and I looked at Mark who was sitting on the edge of the couch with his head in his hands, “Can I be alone?” He asked softly.

            I didn’t say anything as I walked into the bedroom and laid down on the bed, or as best I could, and just cried until I couldn’t cry any longer.

            ***

            Mark joined me in the bed some time later that evening and I found comfort in his touch. I snuggled into his chest with the growing bump between us and let him stroke his hands into my hair, “I’m going back to the city tomorrow for a few days.” He said into my head, “I’m going to request a DNA test for Lily and the unborn child.”

            I looked up at him and sighed, “That sounds like a good idea.”

            He suddenly stopped and then said, “I think I want you to get a DNA test too.”

            I felt my mouth open slightly, “Mark, why would I—“

            “I’m unsure about a lot of shit right now, Jack, and I need to know if your baby is mine, okay?”

            I felt myself become defensive at the accusation. I sat up away from him and looked into his eyes, “Mark, this baby is yours. I wouldn’t lie about something like that.”

            He sat up fast and was out of the bed within seconds, his voice rose as he spoke, “Just fucking stop, Jack!” He yelled, “Stop pushing the subject.”

            He walked out of the room and I got up to try and chase him, following him out the door. I got to him as he was opening the front door to exit the apartment, “Mark, please!” I pleaded.

            He whipped his head around and I saw tears working down his cheeks, “Jack, I need to be alone right now…why can you not understand that?”

            I sighed frustrated, “I don’t know.”

            He rolled his eyes at me and shut the door, walking back into the apartment. He came over to me and pressed a soft kiss to my forehead, “I’m sorry for being upset at you.” He apologized, “I’m going to go out for a while to clear my head. I’ll be home later.”

            I looked into his eyes and felt my own eyes began to glaze over, “You promise?”

            He nodded his head and rubbed my stomach, Hayden kicking to his touch, “I promise. I love you.”

            “I love you too.”

            He pressed a kiss to my lips and then pulled away, leaving my touch behind as he walked out of the door.

            But yet, I felt such a harsh pang of loneliness that my heart felt heavy and my stomach felt uncomfortable. I wrapped my arms around my stomach and walked back into the bedroom, knowing that I just needed to relax, but I couldn’t.

            Everything just felt so uncomfortable to me and I couldn’t find a good position. I was so sick of being pregnant already.

            “Did you hear all of that, Hayden?” I asked softly, “Did you hear how upset your daddy got with us?” I felt a kick to show his answer, “Yeah, daddy is very mad at us right now but it’ll be okay, because I know that your daddy loves you very much. I love you very much.”

            I felt like I was being watched and I looked up to see Mark in the doorway, “You didn’t stay out long.” I said rubbing my swollen abdomen.

            “I really need you right now.” Mark said walking closer to the bed. He sat down and I felt the weight shift under us and I leaned towards him. I suddenly felt his edge closer to me and he was leaning in, pressing a kiss to my lips unexpectedly.

            Now, I haven’t been sexually intimate with Mark in weeks and I’ve been craving it so much. So I didn’t mind this. I didn’t mind him wanting me. I actually preferred it.

            I don’t remember much of what happened in the next few moments but I was straddling Mark, moving my hips as his hands were placed on my sides. I was moaning out his name, my sexual drive through the roof as everything felt heightened.

            But then Hayden kicked and my breath caught in my throat. I stopped moving and Mark looked up at me, “Baby, I’m so close. Why did you stop?”

            “Mark, I can’t finish this.” I said softly, “Hayden just kicked and I can’t do it. I can’t have sex with him in there.”

            “Don’t let him kill the mood.” He said rubbing up and down my swelled side, “Jess and I…” He stopped and shut his mouth.

            Yeah, that fucking ruined it. I pulled off from him and rolled onto my side next to him, no longer facing him.

            He spooned into me from behind and I could feel his hard erection poking into my back, “Jack, I didn’t mean to mention anything. It just slipped out. I’m sorry.”

            I began to cry into my pillow and he wrapped his arms around me, “Baby, please don’t cry.”

            I choked out and sniffled, “But you mentioned her while we were having sex.” I cried out.

            He pulled me close to him and kissed the back of my neck. I felt his erection go back down as it was no longer poking into me and I realized my crying was stopping. I was just hiccupping now.

            “Baby, please stop crying.” He whispered into my skin.

            “But you mentioned Jess.” I repeated, “During our intimate moment.”

            He rubbed up and down my side in a comforting manner, “How about we just sleep and forget about this, okay?”

            I shrugged and felt him leave my body slightly and then light was turned off. I didn’t say anything as I took a few deep breaths to try and calm myself. I felt his arms wrap around me again as he whispered into my ear, “You’re more beautiful than everything I’ve ever seen. You will forever be my Jack and little Hayden will forever be mine as well. I know deep into my heart that he’s mine and I’m so sorry for questioning you. I love you Sean William McLoughlin.”

            I turned around as best I could and looked up at him, he had glazed over eyes and a slight smile on his face. Feeling the mood take a complete 360, I pressed forward and kissed him soundly.

            Once all of the feelings were sorted out, we finished what we had originally planned in one of the most romantic rendezvous I’ve ever had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any kudos and comments are greatly appreciated :)


	14. Chapter 14

****

**32 Weeks and 6 Days**

“Oh, Mark, yes!” I moaned into my pillow. I was laying on my side with Mark behind me, thrusting into me with pure sexual lust. My sex drive has been through the roof and Mark’s libido has been too and combined, we haven’t been able to stop lately it’s seemed like.

            This morning was no different.

            Another moan escaped my lips as I felt his hand readjust on my thigh as he spread me open wider and I felt even more of him inside of me. This was really the only position we could be intimate in anymore because of my huge stomach but man, did it ever feel amazing.

            He hit my prostate on a particular deep thrust and I yelped, feeling the heat pool in my stomach and begin to form a knot as I felt the climax rising, “I’m close.” I breathed out.

            He kissed the back of my neck and breathed out, “I am too. Come with me, Jack.”

            I didn’t even have to touch myself, I just came with so much power, I felt my vision blur. I yelled out Mark’s name and fisted the sheets feeling myself come undone. I felt Mark’s rhythm become erratic and then he pressed one final deep thrust into me and came, gripping my thigh so tight I knew I’d have bruises.

            Our breathing relaxed and softened and felt completely drained of energy. I haven’t been sleeping much lately because of Hayden and this doesn’t help but I needed it so badly.

            I felt him pull out and a little bit of his come dribble down the inside of my leg. I turned onto my back and sighed as the pain was excruciating in my lower back and nether region. Mark rested his hand on my stomach as Hayden moved around like a storm.

            “That was amazing as always.” He whispered, pressing a kiss to my sweat caked hair. I was so hot and warm right now that it made me feel disgusting. I needed to get up and shower but I was unsure if I was able to stand up to shower.

            “My body isn’t liking it though.” I said with a cringe, “My back is hurting really badly.”

            “Take a Tylenol.” Mark said seriously.

            My mouth fell open, “Mark, I’m pregnant. I can’t take that.”

            He shrugged, “Well, how would I know?”

            I smiled suddenly and said, “Hayden is going to be here in two months.”

            He smiled back and rested a hand gently on my stomach, “I cannot wait to meet our little boy.”

            “Me either.” I said softly, “I’ve been having dreams about what he’ll look like. He’s going to have dark black hair like you, and blue eyes like me. But his face will resemble us both. His mouth will be like yours and his nose like mine. He’s going to be so precious, Mark. I’m so in love already.”

            “You’re going to make a perfect father, Sean.” He said, using my real name that made me feel a certain way, “But we need to discuss some things first. Like, is he taking my last name?”

            “Yeah,” I said without a doubt, “His full name will be Hayden Lawrence Fishbach.”

            Mark smiled at me, “That has such a nice ring to it, baby.”

            I smiled back at him, so hard that my face hurt from it, “Yeah, it does doesn’t it?”

            “Can I be with you when you have him?” Mark asked grasping my hand in his.

            I shrugged, “I’m having a C-section so I don’t know if you can be.” I said softly, putting my hand flat onto his chiseled chest, “When I go see Dr. Liendecker today, we’re scheduling the date for it.”

            “Already?”

            “Mark, I have less than two months left. That’s not a lot of time.”

            “Yeah, you’re right.” He said swallowing, “But, not to bring up Jess, but she’s having a child too and what if you guys have a child on the same day?”

            “That’s not gonna happen.” I said furrowing my eyebrows, “She’s due before me.”

            “Anything can happen, Jack. Lily was born a week after her due date.” He said in a frazzled voice, “I’m sorry if I’m getting upset but I have so much on my mind. What even are we, Jack?”

            “You tell me, Mark.” I said sitting up best I could, “Because I don’t know either. I’m having your child, we’ve been seeing each other for almost a year. I’m hopelessly in love with you still and I’m wearing a ring on my finger to symbolize that we’re promised to each other. But you’re still a married man.”

            Everything was silent for a moment before Mark suddenly spoke and said, “Marry me.”

            I shook my head and asked, “What?”

            He took my hands in his own and said, “I wanna marry you.”

            “But you’re married still.” I said slightly confused.

            “Honestly, Jack, I've had the divorce papers ready for months but I had my lawyer serve them after she had the nerve to come here and do that whole mess. I have the best lawyers working out and it’ll be finalized soon.” He went silent again and said, “I asked my lawyer when I went back two weeks ago for a paternity test to be done on Lily and Jess’s unborn child and…Jack, Lily isn't mine and the other child, they can't perform until it's born. I can’t be with someone that’s lied to me about that for this long.”

            “Oh, Mark!” I said wrapping my arms around him the best I could with Hayden in the middle of us. I felt Mark’s tears spill onto my skin. I didn’t even know what to say to him because I can’t even imagine how that must be to him. It must be heartbreaking, “You still have me and Hayden.” I whispered.

            “I love you both so much.” He said with a crack in his voice, “You didn’t answer my question if you would marry me?”

            I smiled at him and said, “Of course I’ll marry you, Mark. But only after the divorce is finalized.”

            Then between us, Hayden kicked hard and I gasped and Mark felt it too. I sat back and looked down at my stomach that was moving, “Must be Hayden wants you to know he loves you too.”

            Mark leaned down and kissed my stomach gently, whispering to him, “I love you too, Hayden.”

            ***

            Dr. Liendecker was going through my charts and looking through her tablet when she spoke finally, “So, I’m thinking that the best day for you to have your C-Section will be Friday, October 7th and I have an opening for 10 that morning. What we’ll do is you come in at around seven that morning, have you prepared and ready to go, and then we’ll take you in at ten and Hayden will be here by 10:30.”

            I pointed to Mark who was sitting on the chair on his cell phone, “Can he be in there with me?”

            Dr. Liendecker smiled, “Of course he can be. He’ll actually be the first of you two to see the baby.”

            Mark looked up and smiled a big grin, “I’ll get to see the birth?”

            Dr. Liendecker nodded, “Yes, yes, you do.” She paused and then continued by looking at me, “That being said, C-sections are very common for carriers and their bodies so they’ll heal faster than a female. You’ll be able to return to light duty at work two weeks after the birth. But we’ll go over that during that time.”

            “With Jess, I wasn’t able to make it to the birth in time so this will be the first birth I’ve ever seen.”

            I rolled my eyes at Mark’s words and sighed, “Can we not mention Jess?” I asked harshly.

            “I can feel some tension in the air.” Dr. Liendecker interrupted, “That’s not good for the baby. You’ll need to make the most stable environment for the child to be brought into so I’d suggest settling whatever problems you’re having now.” She paused before saying, “I’m not saying that this is needed but I do know some great counselors you can go see before the baby comes to relieve any stress that could occur.”

            Mark stood up and put his hand up, “I hardly believe that we need to see a relationship counselor.” He half shouted.

            “Mark, just calm down. Please.” I pleaded without looking at him.

            “No, that’s just fucking ridiculous.”

            “Mark, you’ll need to calm down.” Dr. Liendecker said sternly, “This isn’t something you want to put Jack—“

            “Jack is fine!” Mark interrupted, “And this whole counselor bullshit is fucking insane. I’m leaving and I’ll meet you in the waiting room.” He threw his hands up in defeat and walked out the room.

            I took a deep breath and wiped the angry tears from under my eyes. I was disappointed at the way he was acting because maybe seeing a relationship counselor could help us figure out where to go next with our relationship. I didn’t want to throw the possibility out right away.

            “Now, Sean, I want you to be serious with me,” She said looking into my eyes, “Has Mark ever been physical with you? Has he ever verbally berated you?”

            I shook my head, “No, he’s never been like that. Its just been a lot of things happening and he’s really stressed. We’ll be okay.” There was a silence and a pause and I then said, “Can I leave now and just schedule my appointments?”

            ***

            “The way you acted in there was embarrassing.” I said to Mark, folding my arms the best I could over my chest in an angry way.

            “Well, she was trying to feed us this complete bullshit and I wasn’t having it.” He said hitting his steering wheel, “I’ve been through marriage counseling before and it doesn’t work. They play this guilt trip on you and it just doesn’t work.”

            I sighed again and sat back in the seat.

            “Take a left.” I said suddenly.

            “A left?” He asked, “Jack, what is going left going to do?”

            “I want Chipotle.” I said pouting, “I’m craving a burrito.”

            That broke the tension between us and we both burst into a laughing fit as Mark turned left and headed down the way to the Chipotle.

            Parking in the parking lot there, we both got out and he walked me inside. I was waddling across the sidewalk, one hand on my back stabilizing it so it didn’t hurt while the other was linked in Mark’s hand.

             I opened the door and instantly recognized Marzia and Felix waiting line. Now, neither one knew I was pregnant and so this was going to be a giant shock in two different ways: I’m pregnant and I’m with Mark.

            Marzia noticed me first and her eyes dilated. I waved to her and walked up in line, conveniently being behind them, “Hi, how are you?” she asked giving me a hug.

            “I’m really good. How are you guys?” I replied.

            “We’re good.” She tapped on Felix’s shoulder, “Felix, look who’s here!”

            He turned around and his eyes instantly went to my stomach, “Oh, shit, man. Wow, I never would’ve…are you…?”

            “Yes, Felix,” I said with a laugh, “I’m a thirty two weeks pregnant.”

            Felix then looked at Mark and smiled, “Hey, Mark, long time no see?”

            Mark didn’t say anything. He wrapped an arm around me protectively and pulled me into him, “Are you guys together again?” Felix asked pointing between us.

            We both nodded, “Yes, actually. We’re living together.” I said with a big grin.

            “How exciting?” Felix said without a lot of enthusiasm. I wonder what he meant by that but I pushed it from my head as I gave me order and walked down the line.

            Mark and I sat away from Marzia and Felix inside but I couldn’t help but feel like all their eyes were on us. I didn’t like it at all. Don’t get me wrong, I like them both, but I didn’t want them to get the wrong impression and think of me any differently.

            Without saying anything, Mark grabbed my hand and said, “You’re upset.”

            I shrugged, “I just feel like they’re judging me.”

            “Do you want to go home?” he asked rubbing his thumb over my knuckles.

            I nodded, “Yeah, let’s go home.”

            And we left Chipotle hand in hand and ventured out to the car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any kudos and comments are appreciated :)


	15. Chapter 15

**35 Weeks and 1 Day**

            My belly dropped a few days ago. By that, I mean, my stomach was sticking out high under my chest and now it suddenly feels like it is dragging onto the ground. My doctor also told me yesterday that Hayden is head down and that makes me nervous. She said that he’s doing perfect and he is wear he needs to be but now that I have nearly a month left, I am beginning to panic about things.

            Mark is keeping a very calm head though. As soon as I start to worry about us not having anything ready or having enough supplies, he calms me down and tells me that everything is fine. Plus, I’m officially on bedrest by my doctor and the only times I’m supposed to move are once every three hours to get blood circulation to my legs and feet, to use the bathroom, and to get to doctors’ appointments to see her. I have to go to her every week and I’ve officially started a countdown until Hayden is here on my Facebook…yeah, I decided to tell everyone with a cute little post and then I did a countdown. It’s what I wanted to do.

            Today was no different from anything else. I was sitting on our couch with my laptop balanced on my stomach as I read through all of the nice messages people were sending me. It was making me feel warm and fuzzy inside. I was thoroughly enjoying just seeing everything going on around me.

            Mark, who has spent most of the time actually filling in my position at the bookstore (him and Emma have taken a particular liking to each other since Mark has been only faithful to me), came rushing through the door a few hours earlier than he was supposed to be home. I set my laptop down and braced my hands on the edges of the couch as I very slowly and carefully stood up, groaning as Hayden kicked my ribs in a never ending storm, “Shit.” I muttered to myself, feeling the pain.

            I waddled, literally waddled, I cannot close my legs to walk, over to Mark who looked beyond frazzled and upset, “Mark, what the hell is going on?” I asked.

            He rushed over to me and hooked his arm around my waist as a brace, “You’re not going to like this but Jess went into labor and I need to get there.”

            “Mark?” I said feeling my head swim, “Why do you need to be there?”

            “My lawyer called me and said that for…reasoning’s…I needed to be there when the child is born. She’s not due though for a few more weeks but they’re sure she’s having it sometime tonight. I need to head into the city.”

            I felt my heart race and I was beginning to panic, “No!” I said sternly, “You’re not leaving me when I could go into labor at any minute. I can’t be alone.”

            “It’s going to be overnight. That’s all.” He said rushing, “Jack, I need to go. You’ll be okay. Call Emma and have her spend the night with you. I’ll be gone tonight and be back first thing tomorrow morning. I have to get a rapid testing done for the DNA.”

            “Is that so important that you’re going to leave your nine months pregnant boyfriend?” I said feeling tears slide down my cheeks, “You know how terrified I am right now and you leaving isn’t helping.”

            He wrapped his arms around me and I cried my worries into his shoulders. He just held me and I felt even worse that I couldn’t get close to him because my stomach was in the way and everything was just not going my way right now, “If you really don’t want me to go, I’ll call my lawyer and I won’t go.” He whispered.

            I pulled back and wiped my eyes, “No,” I said shaking my head, “You need to do this and I’m sure overnight will be okay.” I rubbed my stomach, “Yeah, it’s only overnight.”

            He kissed my cheek in a loving way and walked backwards, “I’m going to go and pack a set of overnight clothing and then I’m heading out. Don’t sit here by yourself overnight, call Emma to stay with you. I’ll feel better if you do.”

            I nodded and let out a shuttering breath. He took me in his arms once again and whispered, “I love you.” Into my ear.

            “I love you too.” I whispered back.

            Then I watched him walked away, into the bedroom, and then out the door. And once he left, my heart broke into a million pieces because I felt like everything was coming apart on my end. I felt like everything was going wrong.

            I went in to the couch again and sat down, relieving my swollen ankles and calves. I instantly picked up the phone and called Emma, “Can you and Timmy have a sleep over tonight?”

            ***

            Laughing and hollering went through the apartment as Emma told me the horror stories of having a baby the first couple of months. We were both sitting on my bed, Timmy was asleep in the guest room, and we were just having a fun discussion. It worried me that it had been nearly six hours since I had heard from Mark but I didn’t let it get to me too much. It was a five hour drive anyway so he didn’t really need to call me but damn, I was missing him. I also noticed that Hayden had stopped moving too and this was worrying but Emma told me it was normal, he was just getting into position.

            “Emma,” I said suddenly seriously, “Can I voice my worries to you?”

            She reached out and rubbed my arm, “Of course, sweetie, what has you troubled?”

            I took a deep breath and then left it out, a shudder running through it, “I’m afraid that Mark’s reasoning for going back into the city tonight wasn’t because Jess was having the baby, it was because he—“ I broke into a sob and Emma pulled me to her in a comforting manner.

            “Jack, you have nothing to worry about. He was in the middle of stocking when he got the call and I know that he was telling the truth.” She pulled back and looked at me, but I knew I looked like a mess with tears and other bodily fluid running down my face, “Honestly, Jack, he’s head over heels in love with you. He talks about you all the time and every time he mentions you, he talks about how it’s like nothing happened between you guys. He said told me just this morning that when you have Hayden, every dream he’s ever had of being with you will come true. Keep that in mind, sweetie. He isn’t going anywhere.”

            I smiled at her and I felt my mind instantly clear from any negative thoughts that happened in my head. That’s when my phone went off and I fumbled around for it before grabbing it and reading it was Mark calling. I answered instantly but he beat me to it, “There is no way that that baby is mine.” He said with a slight chuckle. I turned to Emma and raised an eyebrow.

            “What do you mean?” I asked suddenly, “How can you tell already?”

            “Jack…” he said trying to stifle a laugh, “The father of the child is standing in the fucking room with her. You should have seen Jess’s face when she saw me, Jack. I’ll never forget it. Like, I’d known for years that she had been cheating on me but man, this is the icing on the cake.”

            I suddenly felt my stomach drop and not in a good way, “Mark, you were cheating on Jess with me as well.” I said, “That doesn’t make you any better.”

            “I’m not getting into this discussion with you right now over the phone but long story short, I’m coming home first thing tomorrow morning and I’ll tell you then. Call me if anything happens. I love you.”

            “I love you too.” I said before he hung up and I put the phone on the bed.

            Emma looked over at me and I sighed, “Mark told me that he knows he isn’t the father.” I said softly.

            “And how does he know?”

            I didn’t get to answer because a sudden wave of pain flew over my body and I grabbed my stomach in distress, “Jack?” She asked putting her arms around me, “What’s happening?”

            “I don’t know but it hurts!” I said quickly.

            “We need to get to the emergency room. Something isn’t right.”

            She helped me stand up as another wave of pain hit me and I nearly fell to my knees.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any kudos and comments are greatly appreciated! :)


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are in for a surrrprrissse! :)

****

“Well, Mr. McLoughlin, it appears that everything is fine. What you were feeling were just Braxton-Hicks contractions but on a slightly higher scale. Everything is fine. Hayden is nowhere near ready to be out and you can go home and get some rest.”

            I nodded at Dr. Liendecker, who purposely made a trip to the hospital at a little after eleven at night just in case Hayden needed to be delivered. I didn’t call Mark though, I didn’t want him to worry.

            I was discharged from the emergency room after being there for nearly two hours as I headed back to my apartment with Emma driving and Timmy asleep in the back seat. I felt embarrassed and humiliated for making her do this when it was ultimately nothing wrong.

            I began to feel my lip quiver and tears rush to my eyes as Emma pulled into my apartment’s driveway. I immediately threw her car door open and went to get out when I knew I couldn’t without help.

            “Sean, stop being stubborn and let me help you!” Emma said rushing over to me, “God, Sean, stop being so upset about this. I had to do the same thing when I was pregnant. You’re not humiliating or anything, I promise. I understand. It was a scare.”

            I didn’t say anything besides a mumbled ‘thank you’ before I began to waddle inside as she picked up Timmy from the backseat.

            Once inside, Emma put Timmy officially to bed and then we both headed into my bedroom.

            I didn’t say much else to her but she helped me prop up my body so I could actually sleep comfortably for a night and then she left as she turned the light off and I never had felt more content.

            ***

            _“Jack, baby, wake up.”_

            I groaned and began to open my eyes, blurriness in my way to see who was talking to me. When my eyes adjusted, I saw Mark standing in front of me, wearing his red flannel and a pair of jogging pants.

            “Hey, I’m up.” I said softly, before relaxing again and nearly passing out once more.

            “No, you’re not. Get up, sweetie, I made you breakfast.”

            I groaned again and said, “What about Emma?”

            “I made her breakfast two hours before. Jack, it’s nearly noon and Emma’s already gone to work.” He slowly put his arms under me and lifted my groggy frame into his arms.

            I leaned into him as he carried me out of the room and into the living room where he sat me down on the couch in a gentle manner and then left my presence quickly to get the food he had prepared me.

            Coming back, he had a tray filled with bacon, eggs, sausage, pancakes, basically everything and I smiled as I saw him. He came over and sat the try on the coffee table, “Here you go, baby.” He said placing a kiss on my cheek.

            “Why did you do all of this?” I asked him quietly, a big grin on my face.

            “Because I figured it was long overdue and you needed something to relax.” He said with a gentle deep voice, “Emma told me what happened last night and I’m a little upset you never called me to tell me.”

            My eyes widened slightly and I looked at him, “Mark, I was going to tell you but you had so much going on with Jess that—“

            “Don’t, Jack, I understand, really, but can I just explain something to you? Something that’s been bugging me for so long?”

            I nodded slowly, scared for what was going to be said.

            He sighed before beginning, “Jess and I’s marriage was perfect until about a year and a half ago. I was coming home from a long day at work where I had my ass reamed by our boss, Jess and I worked in the same company, and I walked in to her sleeping with another man. Now, that wasn’t even the first of my concern at the time, I was worried about where Lily was. Come to find out, Jess purposely had pushed Lily onto one of her friends for the evening so she can have this affair with this guy. That’s when I started to realize how much I missed you. I know that it’s kind of a backwards story but it’s the honest to God truth.” He paused, “This is what I wanted to tell you the night that we conceived our child. But we had other plans and I’ve never been so happy in my life to have something work out the way it had. Breaking up with you, six almost seven years again, was the worst mistake I’ve ever made and I’ve never wanted to go back in time a fix something so bad. I always knew in my heart Lily wasn’t mine but I always treated her like she was because what person would I be to just abandon the girl I raised?”

            “But I’ll never forget that broken expression you made when I forced myself to end the perfect relationship we had. I was planning on asking you to marry me when I completed my first year of college. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you and honestly, I don’t even remember sleeping with Jess at that party but everyone told me I had so I had believed I did. I don’t know but that doesn’t matter. What I’m getting at is that everything I wanted to happen between has happened and then some. We’re back where we were, starting a family and planning on spending forever together.”

            “When I came up here with Jess and Lily nine months ago, I didn’t intend of fixing anything. Let’s be real, the marriage was doomed and there was no fixing it. I had looked up your location and I had even called your mother to find out if you still lived around here. Everything that brought us together was planned because I wanted to be with you again. I never want to not be with you again. It’s why I’ve served her divorce papers. Now, I know that it’s going to take a while and it’s going to be a long process but we’ll get through it together because in the end, _you’re_ the only person I want to be with.”

            He suddenly fished into his pocket and I instantly knew what was happening and I got scared and excited and nervous and God, was it getting hot in here? I began sweating and breathing heavy. It was six years ago all over again.

            He lowers himself down on one knee and pulls out a little black box, opening it up and exposing a gorgeous silver band with a diamond on the top, “Sean William McLoughlin, will you do me the honor of accepting my hand in marriage?”

             Not being able to move, I felt tears roll down my cheeks and I smiled, “Yes, of course!” I said as he stood up and took the promise ring off from my finger and place the new engagement ring in its place. He scooped me into a hug and I felt myself begin to cry.

            “I’m so happy with you.” He said with a crack in his voice, “God, Jack, I love you so much!”

            “I love you so much too!” I said as he pulled back and placed his hands on my stomach.

            Hayden kicked rapidly at his palms and I smiled at the movements, “Hayden is happy too.”

            Mark leaned down and kissed my clothed stomach, “I love you too, Hayden. Daddy can’t wait to meet you.”

            And just like that, everything was falling in its place.

            ***  
**39 weeks and 6 days**

It was around three am last night when I felt the first contraction.

            I woke up to searing pain and I screamed out, grabbing Mark and holding his arm in a firm grasp. I was breathing heavy and I felt it go away to only have the same feeling just moments later, “Mark, wake up!” I cried, tears running down my cheeks.

            He jerked awake and sat up, “Jack, what’s happening?”

            I grabbed my stomach and felt my breathing tense and shudder as I screamed again and gritted my teeth, “The baby is coming!”

            “Already?” he asked immediately getting up and panicking, “He’s not supposed to be here for another three days!”

            I cried out again and screamed, “He’s coming now, Mark! We need to go!”

            The drive to the hospital was stressful and terrifying. I was crying out from the contractions that were happening every ten minutes it seemed. I was crying and screaming and Mark was trying to hold my hand but he was rushing down the road at almost eighty to get us there.

            When we got to the hospital, Mark didn’t even shut his car off when he ran to the side and grabbed me. The contractions were worse now and I was feeling the full throw of labor. Waddling inside, they instantly grabbed me and rushed me to a room.

            There was no time to get Dr. Liendecker there so they decided to go ahead and have the emergency room doctor deliver the baby via cesarean. They quickly began to prepare me for birth and they asked Mark if he wanted to be inside when it happened. He quickly agreed and then, I almost slapped him for this, asked if one of the hospital staff could go shut off his car. Luckily, one of the nurses agreed and ran out to do so.

            I was in such a daze when they wheeled me in that all I remember was Mark grasping my hand and telling me how excited he was to see Hayden.

            The next moment, Mark was grasping my hand and we were inside the operating room as a blue curtain was placed in front of me and the C-Section had begun.

            I was so dazed and confused that I didn’t even know what was happening as I shut my eyes and felt myself drift slightly. I had oxygen in my nose and it trickled as it went into my airways and I felt so out of it.

            But then I heard a slight crying and I groaned and turned my head to see Mark holding a towel with a little arm reaching out from the top. He had tears running into his mask and he was rocking the little bundle back and forth. He looked down at me and bent down, showing me the little baby boy that was Hayden Lawrence Fishbach.

            At 4:15 am on October 4th, Hayden Lawrence was born weighing 8 pounds, 12 ounces and being 21 inches long. And he was absolutely precious.

            “This is him.” Mark said showing me a little baby with a deep blue eyes and dark black hair, exactly how I envisioned him. His arms were just a moving and his legs were kicking.

            The nurse interrupted the moment by tapping on Mark’s shoulder, “Do you guys want a photo?”

            Mark instantly nodded as he moved around better and placed Hayden near my head as the nurse snapped the photo. I didn’t even want to see what the hell I looked like but I just smiled softly and turned enough to place a kiss on Hayden’s head, he was everything I could have wanted.

            ***

            They wouldn’t let me hold Hayden until I was completely un-numb from the C-Section. So I allowed for Mark to hold him and I admire him in the meantime.

            Mark called everyone on both of our contact lists to let them know the news. Emma was the first to arrive but she wasn’t allowed to bring Timmy in until after twenty four hours because of Hayden being so at risk for anything.

            I was a little jealous that Emma got to hold Hayden before I had but as soon as she was done, Mark lifted him up and placed Hayden in my arms, despite everything the nurses said, and I finally held him.

            He was sleeping so soundly. His little nose was all wrinkled in and his lips were pursed in a pout that was just so adorable that I couldn’t help but melt. His dark black hair was poking out of the top of his blue hat and his little hand was outside of the blanket slightly. I reached down with my finger and touched his little fingers and he whimpered slightly as he gripped at my fingers but he wasn’t able to finally wrap his little hand around it yet.

            I felt tears run down my face and I heard the sound of a camera go off and I looked up to see Mark holding his phone, snapping a photo. He looked at me, such love reading in his eyes as he said, “I cannot believe that you had my child.”

            I looked down at Hayden and said, “I can’t either.”

            And it was love….pure raw and emotional love.

            Hayden was everything that I ever needed and then some.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Say hi to baby Hayden!


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are going to hate me and that's okay...because it has probably been a long time coming and honestly, it shouldn't have been a surprise. So please don't kill me...it gets happy, i promise.  
> Also...I know that i haven't finished Bloodlines yet and i'm planning on it but i'm having a writers block with it (Hence why this story was written) and i've begun to write a camp counselor/ summer camp au and i wanted to just get a general feel on it you guys would like that so, yay or nay on the camp counselor/summer camp au? :)

It’s kind of hard for me to believe that it’s been six hours since Hayden was born. It was such an experience that I didn’t even know what to say about it. I just kept holding him and it was something that I couldn’t stop doing.

            But then I started to fall asleep with him in my arms and Mark took him away from me, carefully as I thanked him and fell into a deep slumber. I woke up a few hours later to little crying noises. I groaned and went to turn my body when I felt a deep ache and pain radiate in my abdomen. Yeah, fuck, I gave birth less than twelve hours ago. I’m not in the best shape to move.

            “Here, little Hayden,” I heard Mark whisper as I turned my head and observed the new father as he cradled the crying baby, “It’ll be daddy’s turn to feed you now. He’s going to love feeding you.”

            I opened my eyes wider and adjusted myself higher on the bed, “Huh?” I asked in a dazed voice.

            Mark walked over to me and I placed my arms out as he handed me Hayden. I looked down at the little whimpering baby with tears running down his cheeks as I comforted him. I rocked him gently and shushed him, feeling my own emotions raise up, “Why are you crying, Hayden?” I asked as I wiped his tears away and his little hands tried pushing me away from him, “What’s going on?”

            “Jack, baby, he’s hungry. You’ll need to feed him.” Mark said rushing over to me, a bottle already made in his hand, “I feed him earlier while you were sleeping. He’s going to need to eat around every two hours.”

            I looked up at Mark with watermarked eyes as I said, “You got to feed him before I did?”

            Mark scooted onto the bed next to me and handed me the bottle that I took in my hand, completely unsure of what to do and panicking inside, “Jack, you were passed out cold and the nurse came in and told me we needed to feed him. So she had me do it. I’ve already been through this, I knew what I’m doing.” He said with a slightly annoyed voice and I felt myself pout at his words.

            “Mark, be patient with me.” I said with a quiver in my voice, “I’ve never done this before.”

            He put his arm around my back and leaned in, “Tilt the bottle until the nipple fills with formula. Once it’s filled, place the nipple near his mouth and he’ll know what to do.”

            I titled the bottle and watched as it filled. Once the tip was filled, I lowered it to Hayden’s fussing mouth and he instantly took it in, calming significantly. Hayden’s small hands stopped moving and he just drank, “When he’s done,” Mark said interrupting the moment, “You’ll know. But he drank a full bottle earlier and normally, they keep up routine.”

            I looked back down at Hayden whose eyes were now shut and I smiled at him, feeling my heart warm up. He continued drinking the bottle until it was empty and I removed it from his mouth. He looked so content and happy now and I couldn’t stop smiling, “God, Jack, he’s so precious.” Mark said in a quiet voice, “He’s absolutely stunning.”

            The door suddenly opened to our room and I looked up to see Felix and Marzia walk in, Felix carrying a giant bear almost the size of him in his hand, “Where’s the baby?”

            Mark and I, both holding back smiled, shushed him as they walked over to us. Felix sat the bear on the floor and walked over to us. Marzia tagged behind him with a giant smile on her face and a bag of items in her hand. Mark stood up next to them and looked at both Hayden and I in a proud manner. He’s a proud father, I can tell.

            “God, you guys,” Felix said looking down at him, “He’s a spitting image of Mark.”

            “You think so?” Mark and I both asked at the same time.

            Felix nodded, “Yeah, it’s so blatantly obvious. He’s got Mark’s face shape for one. He has Mark’s hair and his obnoxious nose. He’s even got his skin color.”  As if on cue, Hayden opened his eyes and their crystal blue color shown through, “Jesus Christ, he’s got Jack’s eye color but the eye shape is Mark’s. God, Mark, that child is yours. How could you have had so many doubts about it?”

            My rocking of Hayden stopped suddenly and I looked up, my breathing beginning to quicken, “What are you talking about?” I asked, “Mark didn’t have any doubts.”

            “No,” Felix said matter of factly, “He had a lot. When he stopped to my house about a month ago to stay the night, he voiced all of it—and oh shit, I forgot he was standing right here.”

            I looked over Mark with glazed eyes and said, “I-is he telling the truth?”

            Felix suddenly bit his lip and backed up as Marzia tugged him away, “We’re going to need to get going but here is a big ass bear from me and the bag is from her. Maybe we can come over to see him once he’s home and comfortable.”

            I didn’t even acknowledge him, I just looked at Mark and said again, “Is that true? Don’t lie to me.”

            My voice broke and a single tear washed down my cheeks and landed on the front of my gown.         

            And to make matters oh so much better, Dr. Liendecker suddenly came in and said, “I have the results of the DNA test you ordered.”

            I felt my chest tighten and I began to sob, which then upset Hayden who proceeded to begin to cry and it was just a loud emotional moment. I felt Hayden be removed from my arms as he was taken away and I covered my face with my hands. Mark tried talking to me but I wouldn’t listen. Dr. Liendecker spoke and I heard her say, “How about I talk with you outside of the room?”

            “You didn’t trust me!” I said picking my head up as Mark walked out, “You didn’t believe me!”

            My voice came out as a yell and Mark picked his hand up to speak but I wouldn’t let him, “Why would I have lied about something like that?” I screamed, “Hayden is yours and there shouldn’t even be any doubt! What the fuck!”

            The door to the room shut and Hayden calmed down in his crib to the side. I rested my head back and felt my body shudder as I hiccupped. I felt like everything around me had come crashing down.

            When the door opened, I didn’t know what to say or how to react. All I heard was rushing footsteps as Mark ran over to me and pulled me into a hug, whispering, “I shouldn’t have every doubted you. Hayden is 100% mine and I can’t believe I ever doubted you.”

            I cried into his shirt and clung onto him as feelings of distrust and anguish rushed over me. I felt betrayed by him. I felt like no matter what I did, he wasn’t going to trust me and I didn’t know why. I never did anything to him to say otherwise. It just hurt.

            He pulled back and looked at me, tears running down his own face, “I’m so sorry, baby.” He said grasping my jaw, “I’m so sorry.”

            He leaned down and kissed me and part of me told me to not let him but I did and I felt the worries I had wash away. There was suddenly a cough as we looked over at Dr. Liendecker who was still standing there.

            “Not to interrupt the moment but I just wanted to say congratulations to you both! Hayden is gorgeous and he’s very healthy.” She then smiled and said, “You got quite a surprise last night with him but honestly, almost no one makes it to the day they are scheduled for C-section. I’m discharging you tomorrow afternoon because you both are in perfect condition. The nurse will be in in around ten minutes to give you your medication and to get you up and moving.”

            “Already?” I groaned out.

            She nodded, “Yes, we need to get you moving and your legs circulating.”

            I just nodded and wiped my eyes, Mark’s arms still around me.

            God, I was ready to just get home and to be calm again.

            ***

            It’s honestly pretty said that my own parent’s never showed up to see me in the hospital. Mark and I had tried to call them multiple times but to no avail. It hurt, deeply, knowing that neither one cared about me enough to see their own grandchild.

            I knew that they weren’t coming once it was the next day and the nurse was handing me discharge papers. I quickly signed them and then Mark signed them to say that he was going to be my primary caregiver while I recovered in these next few weeks.

            After that, they had asked Mark if he wanted to sign the birth certificate now and he did so, but it still didn’t hurt any less.

            They let me put Hayden into his clothing to go home and I was so happy to do so. I dressed him into a little onesie with elephants as the pattern. I then put a little fleece jacket on him and a pair of pants that matched the grey on his onesie. I put a hat on his head that covered his all black hair and then put mittens on his hands because, to him, it was cold even though it was fifty for myself.

            I placed him in the carrier and buckled him in, he was sleeping completely peacefully and I smiled. He looked so precious. I got plenty of compliments from people as I headed out of the hospital with Mark, hand in hand with him.

            ***

            It was when we got home when we had our first major fight. I set Hayden in his crib to sleep and I took the baby monitor with me into the living room so I could talk with Mark when we didn’t even speak.

            When he got up to leave, I finally broke, “Are we not going to address the elephant in the room?” I asked with tear flushed eyes.

            He turned around and snapped, “What the fuck do you want me to say?” He screamed, “No, I didn’t believe you. How could I have when we barely saw each other in the beginning and we had a one night stand? Jess and I did the same and look how that fucking turned out.”

            I stood up from where I was sitting and walked over to him, “How could you say that?” I asked upset.

            “How could I not?” he said with a frantic voice filled with anger, “We fucked one and suddenly you’re pregnant? Of course I’m going to get suspicious if it’s mine. We hadn’t seen each other in six years.”

            “But instead of coming to me for all of this, you ran your mouth to everyone else?” I said with a pained voice, “And it took you nine months of lying to me and acting like everything was fine for this to suddenly come out?”

            “Jack, it’s not like that.” He said in a raised voice, “You don’t get it and you never will.”

            Feeling the strain in my chest, I said what I never thought I would, “What is the point of you wanting to be with me and marry me when you never believed me from the beginning?”

            He stepped forward and grabbed my hands in his own, “Because I love you…”

            “But that isn’t enough anymore.” I said with a crack in my voice as tears began, “That just isn’t enough…”

            He moved his hand up to my jaw and wiped the tears from my cheek. I shut my eyes and sobbed into his touch and for the first time, he didn’t take me in his arms to comfort me. He just stood there, “Let’s not do this right now,” He said gently, “We have Hayden now.”

            I heard crying explode into the room and I let go of Mark to go check on Hayden. I turned my back to him and headed towards the guest room that Mark and I decided to make a nursery at the last moment. I looked at the crying little fragile being and picked him up, cradling him to my trembling chest, “It’s okay to cry, Hayden.” I said in a strain, “Daddy is very upset too right now is crying as well.” I rocked him back and forth until he calmed down and then I sighed, “Can you keep a secret buddy?” I asked, “Daddy doesn’t know if he wants to be with Papa Mark right now.”

            I never thought about the baby monitor being in the living room until I decided to take Hayden with me out to the living room so I could feed him, knowing I hadn’t feed him in a few hours and he needed to be.

            As soon as I walked out of the door with Hayden in my arms, I was greeted with a very visibly upset Mark who had tears of his own in his eyes, “Is that what you want now?” He asked, “After everything we’ve been through and the fact that our child is four days old?”

            “Mark, what…”

            “You don’t want to be with me?”

            I felt myself gasp and I looked at him, pleading, “No, Mark, please.”

            “I can’t do this right now, Jack.” He said backing up, “I need to go for a while, okay? I’m sorry.”

            I honestly don’t remember when he left.

            All I remember is holding Hayden in my arms as I realized for the first time in my life that I was truly alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any kudos and comments are greatly appreciated :)


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, guys, this is the final chapter! Sorry for the short notice on it, but it was originally supposed to be two separate chapters but they were really short so I combined. I wanted to thank everyone that has stayed for the duration of this and have continued to comment and give kudos. It really makes what i do worth while because of all you guys do for me in return! I couldn't thank you enough! I hope you all continue to check out my other stories, Bloodlines should be updated soon, i wanted to get this one done first, and then i'll finish 'follow me' during the summer. See you guys soon! Happy reading! :)

**One Year Later**

            Holding Hayden on my lap as I bent over slightly to pick up my own food, I wrapped an arm around his chubby midsection and smiled as he cooed over what I was doing. He was such a perfect little boy.

            Emma was over at my new apartment in celebration for the fact that I was finally approved for a two story townhouse that worked so much better for Hayden and I. Notice I said Hayden and I…Mark and I couldn’t fix what we thought we could, not right away anyway. I even tried bringing up the whole begging Jess back incident that happened months before to show him that I couldn't exactly trust him either but that grew into a whole fight in itself. That's why, even though we knew it was inevitable, we tried, we really truly did, but when our conversations turned to fights and it kept happening in front of Hayden, we realized it wasn’t going to work like what we thought and I cried for days—months even. I was scared about being a single father but Mark didn’t leave me completely in the dust. He visits all the time and he’s always giving us things. In fact, he’s supposed to come up tonight and I’m hoping we can have a civil conversation again. And, I know what you will all think, some nights, we do have sex. It's almost like our last string that neither one of us want to break just yet.

            “How is Hayden’s words going?” Emma asked taking a bite of her sandwich, “I know you’ve been trying hard to see if he can talk early.”

            I smiled down at my little boy and ruffled his long black hair away from his face: I needed to get it cut, “He can make sounds that sound like ‘dada’ but it’s nothing like a word.” I said adjusting him on my lap as he tried to get away, “He’s crawling everywhere though.” I said looking over him so I could wipe his face off with a baby wipe, “I can’t keep up anymore but I’m officially lost the baby weight and back to my normal weight so it’s all good.”

            “He’s so precious.” Emma said cooing at him, “I can’t believe how much he looks like a chubby Mark.”

            “But yet, Mark still acts like a jackass.” I said with a sigh, “I can’t believe I having to go through all of this.”

            “I can’t either sweetie, but at least he’s in Hayden’s life.” She turned to Timmy who had earbuds in and was preoccupied with a video on Emma’s phone, “John never wanted anything to do with Timmy. No child support or anything and I didn’t have the courage to take him to court. It wasn’t worth the time for a deadbeat.”

            Hayden suddenly grabbed my phone from the table and began to play with it in his hands, “Careful, Hady, that’s daddy’s phone and he needs that. Be very careful!”

            The phone went off in Hayden’s hands and he oohed at the noise. I quickly grabbed it from him and answered with thinking, “Hello?”

            “Are you home?”

            It was Mark.

            “Yeah, but Hayden and I have company.”

            Suddenly, the door to my townhouse opened (Mark had a key), and I turned to see Mark standing in the doorway with giant bouquets of flowers in his hands and a bunch of other various items in his arms.

            I got up with Hayden and pushed him onto my hip as I told Emma I’d be right back and I walked over to Mark.

            “What’s all of this?” I asked in awe, “Hayden’s birthday party was two weeks ago.”

            “I know.” He said with a soft voice, “But I wanted to tell you something.” He took a deep breath and then sank to his knees in front of me, “Sean, the past two years have been filled with so many emotions between us and it’s been hard to see all of them go. I really want you to know that, no matter what you are about to say, I want to be with you. I want to be a fulltime dad for Hayden. I want to wake up next to you every morning and fall asleep with you every night. I love you and I’ve regretted everything negative that’s been happening to us for so long but I didn’t know how to tell you.”

            “Mark…” I said feeling emotions stringing over me.

            “Sean, please, please, please, take me back. I’m begging you.”

            “Stand up for the love of God, Mark.” I said motioning him up. He looked at me with pleading eyes before standing on his legs and setting his stuff on the table by my door, “I don’t know…”

            “Please,” He said with so much emotion in just that one word, “Please.”

            Out of nowhere, Hayden reached for Mark with an open grasp and said out, “Dada.”

            I buckled at the knees as I nearly cried at hearing my child’s first word and then he said it again, “Dada.”

            “Mark, he wants you.” I said to Mark as I handed Hayden over. Mark took Hayden with open arms and I’ve never seen him have so much love pour from him before.

            When I saw both of them together, I felt my heart melt back into one full piece that had been broken for so long. I was so broken for so long and just seeing that was enough to make me whole again. I covered my face with my hand as I broke down crying.

            Nothing was said for a moment before I said to him, “Yes.”

            Mark looked at me with tear filled eyes, “Yes?”

            “I want to try being with you again.”

            He let Hayden down and he proceeded to crawl on the floor over to Emma who was sitting on the living room floor waiting for him. He walked up to me and grabbed my hands in his own, something he did so often, “You’re still wearing your engagement ring.” He said looking down.

            I shrugged, “I couldn’t ever take it off. I couldn’t do it.”

            “Are we going to try and go back into an engagement or do you wanna take it slow?” He asked carefully.

            “Let’s take it slow.” I said softly, “I don’t want to get hurt again.”

            He pulled me into him and I wrapped my arms around his neck, “I can’t imagine ever hurting you again.” He whispered through the tears. 

            We just stayed there in each other’s arms as we reveled in the moment that was this. This was a much better reunion than we had had all that time ago. He suddenly pulled back slightly and said, “Also, I was granted half custody over Lily. I have her every other weekend.”

            I smiled at him and launched myself over him.

            I was finally feeling that sense of wholeness again.

***

**Four Years Later**

It was Hayden’s fifth birthday today and he was running around like the little rambunctious self that he always was. Mark had him trained to a tee when it came to anything athletic. He was Mark’s little boy.

            Lily grew up to be a stunning young lady. Even though her visits became less and less, she called me her step-dad and I was proud to call her my step-daughter. She was such a joy to be around and it made us all happy whenever she came around.

            Felix and Marzia had their own child a month after Hayden’s second birthday, a little girl that Marzia named Luna and she was just as stunning as her. They visit frequently and Hayden and Luna get along really well despite the two year difference.

            As for Mark and I, we married just two months ago. It took us a while to gain the trust that we needed in each other to get to the point of wedding planning. But it finally became a reality when Mark and I walked down the aisle this summer at the same park that we had spent all that time at so long before. It was perfect in every way.

            As for myself, I may or may not have another surprise to tell. I’m currently pregnant with our second child, another little boy that is due in January. He was completely planned and Mark and I tried for months before he was conceived naturally. He didn’t just happen after a one night stand this time around.

            Mark and I talked a lot about it months prior. I was on birth control following Hayden’s birth and I went off from it when we began discussing having another child. Mark didn’t know I did so until he found my birth control pills and realized two weeks of them hadn’t been taken.

            So now, I’m glowing with a small little bump in anticipation for Dakota William on January 29th, exactly six years after Timmy was conceived. It’s all a wonderful coincidence. Mark thought so too and we’re going to try and make sure he is born on that exact date. They say you carry the second child longer anyway. Which brings up my next thing, Hayden came back positive for the carrier gene and I made a pact right out that I would never let Hayden grow up not knowing this. I'm going to tell him and explain that that is how he was born. I won't keep that a secret from him.

            Emma also met a wonderful guy by the name of Justin that treats her amazingly and although they aren’t planning on having child unlike the rest of us, they are planning on marrying this upcoming year and I’ve never been happier for her! She deserved someone to help her out.

            And I’m sure you’re all wondering about Jess: because we are too. Her child turned out to definitely not be Mark’s so Mark didn’t have any custody over him. Their divorce finalized right before Mark and I got back together and then she ran off with another guy and the only time we hear from her is when she is dropping of Lily. It’s a great feeling actually considering no one wants anything to do with her.

            I was pulled from my thoughts to see Mark who was tackled by our son on the grass following having a long day of a birthday party. I was in our kitchen looking out the window, admiring them and the connection they had. It was exactly what we needed.

            This was how Mark and I envisioned our life when we were eighteen: nearly twelve years ago. It’s exactly how we wanted it to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you any questions or comments regarding not anything in the story that you felt was left unanswered, leave it in the comments and I'll try my best to answer it! :)


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